I know that after tonight, you dont have to look up at the stars

i dont know why. but ive been really tired this week. thank goodness this week has gone by really fast cause tomorrows friday :] cant wait. well, i can wait for that ortho appointment :P for some reason, everything seems to be flying by (except for my classes) and now im freaking out about my... FUTURE *dun dun DUN!* the year is almost over. we still have like a month and half left to be sophomores. as bad as this sounds. im going to continue to put this off for a bit. just lock it in a box and put it in the back of my closet. right behind all those boxes of stuff xD

pe was extremely long, and i was tired. then spanish was long. speaking of long. omgoodnesss long -_- that smarty. he shouldnt have been messing around with his blackberry in the first place! but mirsch is still -_- and yeaaa at lunch me jessica and kathy made kevinluu a poster for his last game of the season. so last minute xD but it looked good. and i tried to tape it to the fence but the wind blew it and hella made it whack me -___- that was embarrassing LOL and now we have to make one for the jv boys xD but theres so many >.< what do we do now?! D: the game was baaaaad. i think kevin was losing /)_(\ richard is the weak link!!! why couldnt he have a better partner D: but i still dont know how he did cause kathy doesnt know how to keep score -_- neither does the stats girl O_o i could be a better stats girl. pshh. i really hate no knowing the score. how do you just watch?? it was bugging me the whole time. rawr. and the sun was in my eyes =/ it hurted. and kathy wouldnt be my shade. the meanie NO FOOD FOR HER! :P HA! plus im too lazy to make it anyway. ahh idk why but im soo tired >.< these eight hours of sleep arent doing much for me. i guess im used to having not enough sleep and now im getting too much? and its making me tired? weird... so sleepy. buti have stuff to do. like study and study some more. and draw charmander... xD its gonna be my epic PHAIL /)_(\ and omg i still havent asked... >.< just waiting for the right moment. yuuup.

Its you. Its you. You make me sing.

omgoodness i went to sleep sooo early last night xD like 11. that means EIGHT HOURS of sleep ;D but then when my first alarm went off... i got up, turned it off and went back to sleep... then my second alarm went off. it was the radio so like kiis fm was on for like 15 minutes. and i woke up then went back to sleep. then mindy's alarm went off and both of us woke up but neither of us actually got out of bed /)_< then my dad woke us up at 730 -_____- so we were rushing and i barely got to school on time. i finally realize why mindy lags so much. school doenst start till like 830 for her so she can afford to lag -____- no wonder. wait till she gets to LQ that little punk. imma make her RUN.

so anyways. math was interesting. jeff sure loves scolding me in vietnamese LOL like hes my father or something. i changed seats to "work on math cst review" with a partner. me and jeff were really behind xD john was at like 50? and me and jeff were still at 20something :P i wonder why we're doing so bad in that class.... and then mr. t's class came and kathyn sat with us. and we played some game with the class. and me and jeff teamed up to give each other participation points. that was nice haha. i like that seat! i cant believe she makes me sit all the way on the other side with the freshmen D: and that one freshman wont switch with me >:O before that though, maria and jeff drew a freeman earring on duys LEFT ear xD freeman was purple but duys ear was RED LOLOL and later i double dog dared maria to rest her head, and duy's reaction was PRICELESS xD he did that doubletake thing and slowly moved away xD and then lunchtime... maria TRIPLE DOG DARED jeff to do it. but i didnt get to see cause i was getting lunch D: AND apparently im porking. its not beefing anymore. ive taken it to the next level? pshhhh. just for that i should call her right now cause shes probably napping... mwahhaha :P justkeeding.

i missed 6-7 questions on the bio review. technically it was 6 cause i accidently bubbled in the wrong answer. im sooo serious i knew the answer! light dependent- NOT atp driven pshh. if it was a real test, i would have doublechecked and caught that :P yeaaa. so i asked danny to watch the play with me on friday, and kathy is going to ask rancho ;D and we can get in for FREE cause we got the connections ;D hehee. charlie's aunt? hmm should be interesting... but i might have to leave early. like before 430 for my ortho appointment -_- and then i guess ill walk to scotts house so he can take me there. i hope its not that long >.< i dont exactly want to leave before it ends. i hate not knowing the ending but oh well. and then kathy will be all alone with rancho... O.O and mindy? shell be... there. that reminds me. i have to ask her a question.

p.s. im currently obsessed with EVERYTHING (by michael buble) :] and another thing? the table. i could see it happening.

So i wrote you a song.

rawr. maria still wont tell me why she threw that empty juicy carton at me :'[ MEANMEANMEAN! anyway, badminton for 2hours was ok. an extra hour of fuuuuun. as if i really care -_- and then spanish was looong. and me and andrewvu and long were playing sticks. andrew is really good o.o its like weird that hes so pro at it O___o all the strategies and stuff. i suck LOL and then later we were listening to my ipod and longs blackberry and they were singing.... fun haha. then cst was whatever. but theres "tbsk" written on the back of jennifer's seat which means a gangbanger sits in my seat o.o and then afterschool i went to watch the game... sorta. the starters didnt play. that was no fun D: i am sooo there for league finals to support them jv boys. :] and before we went home jeffrey was modeling xD hes got that model pout going on LOL that cutie haha.

Touch my hand.

sooo. i caught up on all my math hw ;D so proud of myself :'] now no math hw for another 2 weeks? niiiiice. then i took a nap. i was sooo weird, cause i had all this pressure on my eyes... like it hurt D: i musta been reaaaaaaally tired. anyway... got the computer fixed. :D its soo annoying though cause scott updated it like crazy. and the tabs are all weird and im not used to any of it D: and the mouse is soooo sensitive. it keeps clicking other things when im not even touching it so im like typing and then it clicks to somewhere else D: but im sooo glad we have the computer back. i was about to die D: and poor kluu. he keeps calling me to tell me to work on the spanish project but everytime he calls, either mindy is using the laptop or its all out of whack so it goes from nagging me to do the project to talking about random stuff. such a drama queen, that one. and i suppose i should do some research now... but im too lazy. its late. i should go to sleep. english cst tomorrow. yippeeee. *yawn*

You know i'll walk them miles.

sooo. just got back from dennys. xD i eat like a monster. and its pretty embarrassing lol. my dad said something about it. then my mom. then my dad again xD oh wells. food is good ok? and anyways. today was ok. i got a new seat in history today. front seat. right next to crosby -___- i forgot we were picking seats today D: so i walked jeffy to class with maria and we lagged :P and now that im sitting there i feel the need to talk to her or something O_o but im not going to. pshh. the rest of the day was whatever. except for lunch. haha. we played the watermelon game. soo fun. but i was like one of the first to lose /)_(\ PHAIL. but fun haha. so tomorrow is dannys bday. he doesnt seem too happy about it =/ i wonder why. i had that plan of doing that one thing that me and jessica discussed. with those 16 things that you put on that one thing... but rawr. maybe i wont do it anymore >.<

And it feels like its the first time that anyones ever brought the sun without the rain.

woke up at 745ish. at 8 doreena came barging into our apartment... APPARENTLY SOMEONE FORGOT TO LOCK THE DOOR LAST NIGHT /)_< we coulda got robbed or something. tsk tsk. we got my hair done while talking about korean dramas xD fuuuun. then scott picked me up and took me to his house. friggin mart and phillip took longer to get ready than me and my aunt. what a bunch of girls. so we got to church pretty late. =/ oh wells. mass wasnt that bad. i expected it to be longer. i didnt even realize it but i fot confirmed before everyone at the table xD suckaaas. just keeding :P but what really made my day was when i was walking out and i saw danny xD big surprise. he even dressed up for me xD all my cousins have been asking me if he was going to come and i said no because i really didnt think hed want to go to church. hes buddhist, he thinks? xD i didnt even know he knew what time it started o.o but im glad i was wrong xD after the mass, i ran around a lot to take pictures, and hide from my family. shame shame, i know. and my dad kept looking at me. like suspiciously >.< i got really worried. i was freaking out cause i thought he saw me with danny. then i forgot about it and ate pho at phillips house, watched them play streetfighter, and fell asleep listening to my ipod. then went home to change and went to the restaurant. after we ate... me, viv, kathy, and mindy went to the mall. got some new clothes. theyre pretty xD lol then the mall closed and we had to run all the way around the mall to get back to the restaurant cause all the doors were locked D: it was scary cause it was nighttime and yeaa four young girls walking aloneish... that has danger written all over it. but we made it safely, and back at the restaurant, my dad was like staring at me. i got so scared. but i blew it off and went up to him like normal and stuff. he kinda ignored me :'[ i got kinda sad >.< and it made me worry some more. rawr. but when we got home and everyone was like all ready for bed, and i was watching snl, he came out and pulled the chair out and told me to sit down. i was like !@#%# here it comes >.< and then he told me to give him a massage. LOL. phewwwww. i think hes stressed, probably worrying about he should be at work, and how im confirmed, one more daughter to go. next thing he knows, ill be graduating >.< its all very scary when i think about it too. and it makes me sad. i think im ok for now. but my mom was like ehh when she found out i got flowers from kevinwiththeeye and that i didnt introduce him to my dad -__- she was like dont be all sneaky. you can have friends. just not _____. technically she didnt even say it. so im ok right? >.< whatevers.

so today is our one month<3 ^___^ whats embarrassing is that i really wanted to shout it out to the world. yea i had that kind of feeling all day xD but no one really cared LOL so yea. anyways, im hella tired. dreaming time. night world.

I gotta find you.

another day. pe was like whatever. i just didnt feel like playing if that wasnt obvious. we lost a lot. my bad. and jessica smashed a bird at the back of my head. owwiee. she did it on purpose >:O concussion... o.o justkeeding. and then later kluu was all blaming me for getting him sick D: i did not. if anything HE got ME sick rawr. what a coldcold day. me and jessica had to tutor. funnn. well kinda i guess. i just didnt want to be there. but it was ok. mr moore sent me on a battery rampage to fix the broken clock in the 300 lab. xD wandered around the halls looking for a custodian so i could ask for a battery LOL i feel like i was sent on a silly errand just so id leave the room or something :P but it took a while to find a custodian and i went to the custodial office or something? idk lol and the guy was looking for a battery for me and then he was like uhhh ill just bring it later. i was like okie pokies :] next thing i knew the clock was working :O and i didnt even get the battery yet... weird.. talked to mrtran aka scary bald guy about our classes. i guess im sticking with my classes >.< and the whole time jessica was trying to make me listen to this song but i wouldnt. i guess im just out of it. usually id be all over that. and kathy was like no itll make her sad! and yea so now im listening to it. -___-" its pretty... and sad =/ bummer. so weird. this morning i was scared. then bummed. then i accepted it. then i was hella surprised! sooooo caught off guard. i didnt know what to do. so i started freaking out. -__-" bad idea huh? stupid palmrose is in the box and i look at it and im like UGHH. im sooo obvlivious /)_< but i dont care. not like it makes a difference. ill just give it to mindy. so i was talking to jessica and i kinda got the courage to face him. but then something just shot me down. bummer.

Don't forget.

rawr. i dont like how this is right now. why is everyone so blahh? its like theres this bug going around making everyone all sad =/ seriously. EVERYONE. its not just me. i KNEW this week was going to be bad >.< must have been in denial yesterday. so ive been talking to elfy a lot lately. weird. i feel like ive known him for a while. i can openly talk to him about stuff and i think its cool that he can talk to me too. him and his noona problems and me and my idk... stupidity? we're all in the same boat... that is sooo sad :P you know what? going to the beach sounds nice. maybe ill get wise one to take me one day. in the morning. ill bet he'll love to swim when no ones there. but idk maybe the waves will be too calm for him? not enough of a challenge? :P whatevers. im suppose to do history right now. i already gave up on chem *sigh* im gonna do my best to fix this. i keep remembering how happy i was near the end of last week. i think id do anything to just replay it again. no matter how ridiculous mindy gets with her demands. and thats saying something cause theyre pretty ridiculous already -__-" but no one knows but me and her cause its hella embarrassing on my part -__-" this is my pride im talking about! >:O anyways im getting tired. hopefully i dont do anything stupid and tomorrows a better day. *fingers crossed* i have no idea what came over me today or last night >.< im just sick of beef right now. which reminds me, its funny how many ppl aimed me up asking me why beef wasnt good for them xD oh and im sick rawr. how? i thought it was allergies. =/ i was wrong. cause i was sneezing way too much and i was getting chills but i thought that was cause my apartment was cold which it is, and now my throat hurts. boohoo. right before comfirmation too D:

Lolli lolli lollipop oh youre my lollipop.

i think mindys napping so ill sneak on for a a bit xD today was kinda ehh. but whatevers. went straight home today so i had to miss the tennis game. i couldnt go support my boys :'[ sorrysorry. *fingers crossed* i hope jeffy and david, and ken and vinh SWEEP ;D dammit i just realized today's game was against BOLSA TT________TT we've been waiting for this. i dont pay attention well... even mindy knew?! wtf. i fail TT____TT i wouldnt have been able to handle it anyways. my allergies are all out of whack >.< it suckssss. stupid springtime RAWR. and heart "disease" is bugging me again. -____-" been hurting and all since this weekend. tears. what if i DIE?! justkeeding. overreacting. lol i blame it on my out of whack flow.

p.s. im usually a vegetarian but i guess im beefing.

Say it again for me.

last night i went to bed all bummed. i was like darn it! its gonna be a bad week i can feel it >.< but i woke up this morning and was like its a new day. :] so i got to see everyone and that was good. i missed everyone<3 and jeff was all i missed you too and i was like but you missed me the most and he was like yeaa. and then maria got jealous. LOL and he was like gosh kelly stop taking all the miss xD hes such a CUTIEEEE! xD so today was a pretty chill day i think. except my flow was all messed up and it was bugging me. only maria and jeff know what that means (i think) xD poor jeff LOLOLOL then afterschool, i gave danny his surprise but apparently it wasnt good enough so ill surprise him again tomorrow... maybe :P and doreena took me and mindy to buy the potluck food. got some pastries... not bad haha and then stopped by for frozen yogurt. we talked about stuff like how she finally got to see danny. now shes gonna interrogate mart LOL. good luck with that :P and then i found out my grandma came home from the hospital ^_____^ my mom was overreacting about the alzheimer i think. hopefully >.< but shes back. so thats good. so me maria and jessica had an intense conversation about serious stuff and stuff like universal cuteness. LOL that was fun xD then i got my dress approved. PHEW. no more worries ;D but amelia might still yell at me o.o fudgers ill get maria and jessica to back me up xD ill just hide behind them while she yells... >.< but its all good in the neighborhood ;D

...

woke up. went to church. then barbecue with the family. fuuun. haha ate a lot... like a MONSTER :P then helped phillip with his physics project. shame shame. make a bridge in one day? really? he had one week. smart one. -_____-" still havent visited my grandma =/ everyones taking turns to watch her at the hospital. i think its arousing drama within the family? rawr. just when everyone is suppose to get together for mine and mart's confirmation *sighsighsigh*

Its ok.

so grandma had a minor stroke... =/ we were planning to visit her but my parents were late for work and they left us behind and went to visit her alone. i got up early and everything. me and mindy were ready. its not our fault we didnt get to go. its not like we dont care. its hard for me to realize how weak she is now and that shes not always going to be here and that we take her for granted too much. shes taken care of all of us ever since we were little. you think i dont care? thats not fair.

Its just emotions taking me over.

i just dont get it. first im being ignored and then that ends for a short time. and now its happening again?

junior. im just a little disapointed =/ please dont make these mistakes >.< ahh he just needs think about it. despite his past- his present and future are what matter. please dont let him mess this up. theres restraint and willpower. hes strong. i know it.

I'd be lying if i told you losing you was something i could handle.

"when you assume you make and ASS out of U and ME" well guess what? hee. honk. i think... ive been selfish >.< i suppose i did blow things out of proportion. but thats just how it is for me. i have to be pessimistic. optimism is soo overrated. who wants to get their hopes up just to get it shot down? aim low and avoid disappointment right? but for some reason it hasnt been working too well. so what is that suppose to mean?

Its like chasing the very last train.

so last night i was on the phone a lot... hope my parents dont look on the phone bill xD first i talked to maria. haha her dorkiness DOES make me feel better. all the time. LOVE her. talked about random stuff like how me and my cousins turned on spiderman3, muted it, and put on the captions so we could dub our voices into it xD FUUUN. but hella embarrassing if it wasnt just me and my cousins LOL and then yea talked about stuff. i know its just high school. but it just tears me up. sigh. then i went to eat ice cream. i got fudge brownie ice cream. and when i was struggling to open i realized it said FROZEN YOGURT all around the top and was like OH MY SNAPS. i got so excited. then i popped that sucker open. BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF MY LIFE. it was chocolate ice cream with brownie bits :'[ turns out it tasted NOTHING like frozen yogurt AND i LOATHE chocolate ice cream... nasty >.< tsk. the lies. then andrew called and i ditched the ice cream cause it was nasty anyway. we talked for a while about stuff *cough* LANVI *cough* yea THAT was fun. i have blackmail now LOL. i got you buddy... got you wrapped around my little finger >:] haha just keeding. unless you know you do something to make me feel a little devious? :P then i got kinda tired so i hung up on him. then i remembered i promised to call kathydao back. so i called her and she played a song for me. it was pretty ^_______^ then we woke ken up so we could 3way haha. he was sleeping and the whole time he was just like can i go back to sleep now? why did you call me?! and WHY DID I CALL YOU BACK?! xD its cause he loves us ;D then i ditched them at like 1:30? cause i was super tired haha AND my mom was awake... o.o i kept thinking i heard her open the door or something. SCARY~~
so i slept on it. i dont know how i did. but i did. i woke up this morning and realized that im following in communism's footsteps. all the signs are showing, and im just confused now. i dont know what to do. this is something i dont wnat to happen. i dont want to follow that path. but it looks like thats where its heading. sure theyre different. but why does it look like this has happened before? im not saying i feel any different about him. hes still on my mind 24/7. hes the first thing that comes to mind when i wake up and the sun is shining through my windows and hes the last thing i think of before i drift off into dreamland. but it all feels sooo unrequited right now and... it just hurts.

You can't play on broken strings.

i watched stardust. cute. it made me cry. not because it was cute. but because he was sooo sure of his feelings for her that it made me go awww ^.^ then the movie ended, and it said: and they lived happily ever after. i smiled. and went aww again. then i realized, its just a fairytale. none of it is real. in real life, no one is ever sure of what they want. people are sooo indecisive. easily swayed. easily confused. happy with what they have one moment, and the next moment? unsatisfied. its just not enough for me to be wanted whenever its convenient. im not a toy. i cant be replaced if i happen to break.

Tell me what they know about my love.

badabahbahbahhhh. so my plans are ruined. =/ i was suppose to go to the beach with wise one today but my mom was being all anal. shes like no hes probably gonna take his friends too. and im like uhh no mom. its a family thing. just us cousins<3. cause thats how it always is. but she wouldnt listen. whatever. i was too tired to argue anyway. she doesnt get our bond LOL. dude i love my couins<3 theyre alwaysalwaysalways there for me. and like we always have the best times. and its like we all belong in different groups at school but at home, with the family, we're just family. and i know that as much as we mess around, theyll always be there for me. :'] fudgers. im all emotional haha good thing no one us up right now. but omgoodness theres this car outside and its soo annoying. its been beeping every like 2 minutes -.- RAWR i just want to throw something at it ^.^ lovely. i like kathy's myspace song. teehee.
so last night i was oober bored. my mom made me get off the computer. rawr. i have a curfew for aim?! mother effer. 9 o'clock. miss me my loves :'[ so i went to bed and called a whole mess of people xD but the only person who picked up was andrew :'[ and someone *coughcough* has to tell me EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING cause a promise is a promise LOL i made andrew promise to tell me about everything if i guessed her name. suckahhh. i didnt cheat. i'm just psychic. i only knew her name cause he was thinking about her too much that her essence and her name just came to me. LOL right right. ;D his reaction to when i said her name was priceless LOL wish i coulda seen it. then i got bored cause he was being ridiculously stubborn and wouldnt keep his promise. rawr. so i hung up on him and got something to eat haha.
*sigh* i just remembered kevin is in new mexico talking to the dean :'[ hes going to college soon omgoodness. this makes me sooo sad. fudgers. only 2 1/4 years of high school left >.< and all those dorky seniors and juniors are gonna leave soon =/ gah that makes me sad. its ok. we'll just make the best of the little time we have left and just make it last :]
:O i was suppose to go to church at 8. why do my parents keep doing this? -_-" its really annoying. i wish i could drive. i should sign up for drivers ed classes. LOL imagine me... driving xD i probably cant even reach the peddles :P *swings feet back and forth* omgoodness so Friday night my mom kept coming out and was like go to sleep. and then she came out and looked at me seriously and was like kelly im serious. you have 3 more years. i was like O.O uh oh. what is she gonna lecture me about now? and then she continues... you need to drink milk. how else are you going to grow? you only have so many years left until you stop growing... LOL my face went from o.o to xD no duh. i knew that. its not like i can really help it. who says milk makes you grow anyway D: statistics? pshh whateverrrr. ive BEEN drinking milk since i realized i wasnt growing. it doesnt help =/ this is the longest most boring blog ever....
plans for today?
-go to church
-talk to that indian guy about my computer problems xD
-download antivirus
-update my ipod ^.^
-watch australia
-keep kevin "w/ the eye" company during his stay in new mexico
-not do hw :P
-and do something spontaneous? LOL great. its not spontaneous anymore now that ive planned to do it xD oh wells. we shall see. we shall see

i have a secret: im a little bit of a jealous person. just a little. /)_(\

Do you ever dream of candy coated raindrops?

break. 9 days. finally. so omgoodness i had the biggest scare today o.o i was with danny and kathy called to tell me mindy was on the phone with my dad. he told her he was at school and he asked where i was. and mindy told him i was in romanos. i was like wtf? hes checking up on me?! *hurt* i cant be trusted? D: ok i know that. i lie to my parents way too much >.< i know its bad. =/ most of the time its for their own good. there are some things they don need to know. like how i get a ride home. yea that worries them -_- they just worry way too much and they dont need the extra stress. but i guess i dont help. rawr. im a bad daughter >.< so i ran as fast as my little legs would go xD but im pretty slow. omgoodness i made a sharp turn an almost fell. LOLOL good thing no one was there to seee xD but wheni got to romano's it was locked iwas like @#!% and then i went to the senior parking lot. and i found mindy and kathy. i was like please let this be a late april fools joke >.< mindy seemed pissed xD lol okokok i promise ill stop. I GUESS she does enough for me. she a real bword about it though. and its not like she does A LOT. she only puts up with my friends and danny but hello????? she loves my friends :P uhhh idk about danny LOL but yea. so turns out it was a false alarm. my parents werent checking up on me. my mom was sick D: and my dad drove her home from work and thought hed pick us up on the way. PHEWWWWWW. i wonder if they passed by the front office though. because. uh oh. >.< omgoodness i hate the mystery. fudgers. i dont think they saw anything? so scary >.< idk ughh. and i totally ditched danny. :O shame on me =/ but my LIFE was on the line. and this is not me being a drama queen either. omgoodness. ive been called a drama queen a lot this week :O i guess that means im a drama queen -__-" oh and apparently im crazy too :P rawr. so kathy. goodness that little cougar LMAO im glad shes happy. like genuinely happy too. it made me wanna cry xD ive never been so happy that i cried. but i came kinda close today. shes been through so much bs from that dumbass. she deserves better. im glad shes finally letting go because he doesnt deserve her time. ok so i took a nap from like 6-10 but im still sleepy duh. i need to catch up on sleep. gonna go dream. night world.