Peeesh out.

i think im over this blog. hello new one.

Georgia on my mind.

first day of school. i was sooo tired x_x my classes are ok i guess? except for history...i cant believe i accidentally fell asleep.. and got caught LOL i dont really know anyone in there D: i didnt see mindy much so its not that weird. i keep forgetting she goes to lq now xD the only time i saw her was at lunch when she stole my food... she has free lunch too O_o lazy butt -_- and omg it was hot at lunch today too.. i kinda regret keeping the table. i could just feel us all getting SKIN CANCER o_o i want shade :'[

soooo after school i finally opened the cards that my aunts uncles and cousins sent me from georgia. very cute :] and they sent me a check that i cant cash LOL i miss them. i havent seen them in over 2 years? thats a longtime considering we used to see each other at least once a month? =/ we're going to have a family reunion next summer. its gonna be all vacation status i think? on like a really nice beach and a hotel and stuff. how funnnnn ^-^ my aunt was talking to me about school and stuff the other day. in georgia theres the hope fund thing and highschoolers who maintain a 3.0 or above get their college tuition paid for. like those first four years or whatever. so all youd have to pay for are the books and dorm stuff. duuuude wouldnt that be nice? *sighsighsigh* its gonna go by so fast TT___TT

My life would suck without you.

monday: we went to huntington park. it was hella hot. a lot of walking. but it was fun. it was sooo pretty. we went to the japanese garden and it was so cool LOL like we were in japan :OO mindy loved it. my mom and diana were running through the sprinklers LOL then after we got pizza

tuesday: registration. omgoodness. WE'RE OFFICIALLY JUNIORS. we all got there super early and hung out. and i got to see danny for a bit. tay, duy and kathy went to get jamba juice and when everyone was reuinited we went to eat com tam. we decided to keep the old table even though we might get skin cancer x_x and we picked secret santa. i got ________________ :OOO this is gonna be hard.. :'[ when my dad picked me up he saw everyone except for jessica kathy and kevin. he thinks tay is a GANGSTER O________O only cause of his hair though. he was like your friends need to dress approriate. NOT LIKE GANGSTERS. i was like /)_(\ but theyre not gangsters!!! D: then he was like whatever and he took me home to pick up my mom and mindy. we went to the tmobile place to set up my dads bluetooth and we washed the car. fuuuun... not really lol after we were all starving and mindy was craving something spicy so we went to eat crawfish. while we were there my and mindy taught my dad how to text LOL funny. it was such a long day and i knocked out early x_x

today: we went to the shop. not fun. i got through 3 chapters and fell asleep. nothing special. didnt eat much all day. ive been losing my appetite a lot O_O and right now im starving but i dont want to eat whats for dinner... mindys getting her hair straight permed
:O this is gonna be so weird. not seeing her muffin head and what not LOL for her sake i hope it looks good cause shes got registration tomorrow. which by the way. i have to go to... super early in the morning... but at least im gonna go eat with cherry after :D

Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.

I woke up super late today and it was so HOTTT :'[ I was on the phone with customer care for like more than an hour trying to figure out how to set up picture messaging /)_< but I was on hold half the time and they kept taking me off of hold to tell me thanks for holding.. Now keep holding. Stupid machine. LOL anyway. My teeth are really sensitive right now D: i'm like scared to eat ice cream even though it's so hot >.< rawr!! Ooooh today danny wooed me with his fancy words and put a HUGE smile on my face xD it was super corny LOL but cuuute heheh it's almost my birthday! OMG! Jk it's not a big deal for me lol my mom already tells everyone I'm 16 LOL she started doing that when mindy turned 14 LOL today my dad was like.. What do you want to do for your birthday? And honestly I have no idea :P so he gave me suggestions like why don't we do it on labor day? And want to go to the beach? And then he looks at me and was like... How about vegas? LOL why not? xD actually I really doubt it haha *sigh* I'm getting old D: I can't sleep... Darn nostalgia and stuff -__- this always happens at the end of summer >:O I think I'll read. I've got lots of catching up to do >.<

You gotta do what you gotta do so you can be a better you.

yay. new sim card. UNLIMITED TEXTING ^-^ i think i went kinda crazy.. LOL trying to learn how to text heheh it was hot today and diana took me and mindy to tastea and target. funnn. then i went home and accidentally took a nap xD then i realized i didnt eat anything like ALL DAY :OOOO unhealthy D: and like someone called my old number and was like "you want to play?" and i was like who is this?" and they were like "you want to play?" and then i was like "i think you have the wrong number... bye?" and then they were like "NONONONNOOOO i just want you to play... you want to play?" I WAS SO CONFUSED. and then they hung up on me -__- i cant tell if that was a crank call or what... but i was like WTF??? D: i dont like being confused >.< we went to stater bros today and stocked up on frozen food. ehh. for some reason i dont have much of an appetite? and like the left side of my tummy was hurting sooo bad D: like i was on my flow or something O_o super bad cramps D: i thought i was gonna die :'[ but i didnt. so yeaaa :P

I don't care.

We got the phones today. Yay. Thanks wise one for taking me even though it was hella hot x_x so I've decided the phone isn't THAT ugly LOL but I still have to get used to it :P ... I didn't know I twisted words... >.< not fun. Not fun at all.

Mart: when we were little me and peter wanted to know what a fartbomb smelled like. so we bought one and cut it open a little and sniffed it... We almost died x_x

LOLOLOL

I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly.

Phone shopping all day today. Plus some other errands. Pshh that one guy from nguoi viet supermarket tried to sell us 3 phones for more than $300 but we went to a different place and got the same three phones and an extra $15 back. In your FACE! Stupid guy -__- he reminded me of that one guy in pe last year who kept smashing the birdie and hitting me -__- anyway... Yay for the LG neon with touch dialing and slidey qwerty keyboard. Too bad I don't get mine till tomorrow D: and the new plan doesn't start until Friday. And it's not as pretty as I thought it was... It's kinda ugly D: oh well ill get used to it i guess.. lol should really start sleeping early /)_<

I'm taking a roadtrip.

My mom took a day off so we could go to Huntington park. I was kinda excited. Supposedly it's really pretty. So diana and doreena picked us up and we drove like two hours while my mom and my cousins talked about all the family drama -__- then we stopped by starbucks and got some goodies lol then we drove around these neighborhoods for like FOREVER to look for the place. There were such pretty houses but there were some creepy ones too *shivers* my mom made it worse by telling us her personal ghost stories that happened to her when we were living in that one apartment in Georgia. I was like WTF? We had ghosts?! Thank goodness I was young and didn't know anything. Ignorance is bliss :D then my mom told diana about mindys story. For some reason she didn't know about it. My mom is a pretty good story teller cause I've heard the same story so many times but I still creeps me out LOL anyway the whole time doreena was driving and turns out we were going around in a circle and we ended up at the same starbucks we were at earlier LOL then we looked to the right and we found Huntington park LOL it was right there and we just drove passed it /)_< doreena was kinda pissed LOL so that was like 2 and a half hours. Then we go through the gates and the security guy tells us that the botanical garden closes at 430... I look at the clock and it's 420 /)_< ridiculous! So we decided to go home. I got kinda carsick and since I was sitting in the middle my butt got kinda numb LOL we went to some store and shopped for a bit. I got 2 new shirts. I think they're pretty :] but one of them is kinda ripped at the strap. I'll have to fix that. And I was going to buy this dress. It was really cute but my mom wouldn't let me get it =/ oh well. I don't wear dresses much anyway LOL where would I wear it to anyway? :P after that we ate crawfish and went to my house so my mom could cut dianas hair. Then she trimmed my bangs and doreena brought Anthony over. We played thirteen and scared diana with the illusion app on the itouch xD doreenas idea LOL we hung out a bit then they left. But Anthony said he'd take us to dennys at 3 in the morning. I called his bluff but it's 3 now and me and mindy are still at home :P FAIL. LOL anyway. Even though we didn't get what we wanted today it wasn't that bad. Yay :] what happens in the car STAYS in the car ;] LOL

Diana: I have to pee.... I have to pee.........DOREENA, I HAVE TO PEE! GO!!!
Doreena: O_o its a RED LIGHT

LOLOLOL

You brought me back.

YESTERDAY: tracy woke me up early to go to her house for the family gathering cause my dad finally came to his senses and let me and mindy go. we got there around 11ish and vivian and tracy ditched us at their own house to go to the mall -_- they left us alone with their cousins from vietnam and the jumping castle o_o awkward turtle???? very much. i didnt eat much even though there was a lot of food. but i played with brandon and vinh a lot. vinh was holding my hand and jumping in the jumper. such a cutie lol then he started jumping and attempted to do splits xD so crazyyyy. brandon was super cute ^-^ hed play with the balloon and let it fly up and then make me help him jump up to get it. and when id carry him up id count to 3 and he'd count with me xD sooooooooo cute :'] then i put him to sleep and me mindy and vivian went to confession. after that we walked to the park near blessed sacrament and the three of us went on the tire swings. FUNNNN x] then we ran to the mini seesaw and mindy and vivian sat on the ends while i sat in the middle on the fulcrum thingy. we seesawed and omgoodness it was so nostalgic cause we were talking about like our future and old times in georgia. we even started singing those oldold songs that we used to listen to all the time in georgia xD LMAO kinda embarrassing but thats ok. just a bunch of little kids there anyway :P that was soo fun lol. we stayed there for like an hour or so cause we thought saturday mass was at 530... tracy lied D: we missed the first half -_- then peter and philip picked us up and i finally got to see peters new phone. LG touch. niiiiiice. but i still want the neon heheh. but its kinda ugly.. oh well lol. when we got back to the house everyone was pretty much there. i didnt eat much.. idk why. no appetite i guess? so after we ate we went outside to hang out cause the house was so stuffy. brandon was being a cutie once again lol he wouldnt eat but he kept playing around. HOW COULD I RESIST?! such a cutieee xD then later i tried to play with this other baby. FAIL. she was so weird.. like a robot. NO FACIAL EXPRESSION. she just sat there. but get this. the only time she showed any emotion was when she made a sad face cause i was there -_______- whatever. i dont need her pshh. walked around then went to the room and sang along to the radio. then my uncle came in and passed out on the bed cause he was drunk x] but before that... "uncle you smell like mosquito spray :X" .. "i am?!" LOLOL then later.. *music plays in the background* "SOMEBODY TURN OF THAT ALARM!!!" LOLOLOL then i left to go for a walk and talk to kathy. i guess i am stubborn sometimes... :'[ after the walk i went inside and played with brandon some more. HE WAS BREAKDANCING xD sooo cute!!! omgahhhh hes only like 22 months old and hes BREAKDANCING!!!!!!!! cutieeeeee xD then we had to go home... i hate it when my dad gets drunk -_-

TODAY: my mom woke me up at 7 to go to church. then she said no. O_o ok... and then i couldnt go back to sleep -_- so i talked to danny. seemed like things were back to normal. i really missed him =/ but i knew we hadnt resolved anything so we tried to talk it out again. we didnt get far cause i had to go to church with peter mart and kathy. after church we went to phillips house for the family gathering. i didnt eat much there either cause i still didnt have much of an appetite i guess. later we played slapjack with all the cousins and my mom. LOL she sucks BIG TIME. she was last like every time we had to slap the deck :P then we played heart attack. omgoodness vivian... "DUH BUH DAIIIIIIIIII" and cindy "OH YEA?!!!!! ...tracy" LOLOL i almost lost. but me and kathy tied and we played rock paper scissors and i won. i always pick rock... youd think people would realize that by now.. LOL then we sat around and watched harry potter on abc family lol funnn :]

*kayla's mom yells at her for playing on the stairs*
kayla: *points at her mom* thats mommy
kayla: mommy scary!

LOLOL cutieeeee ^-^

Watching the seasons fly.

Happy birthday to neil :] so i dragged mindy to kathys birthday today. she kept giving me beef about it too D: my bad.. but at least she had fun in the end :DD so we played a dangerous game today... the watermelon game EXTREME :O loser takes a shot of nuoc mam. it wasnt that much but it was hellaaaaaaaa nasty. i lost pretty quick. and when we did the warmups i lost first like 4 times in a row LOLOL thankgoodness that was only warmups xD so we got the table together(minus kevin cause idk why.. and hes the one who always gives me beef about not going to stuff. RAWRRR >:O) we had our meetings about whether or not we should change tables. seriously, i want a square one with shade. no need to cut all our lives short because of SKIN CANCER. goodness! and supposedly we're gonna get matching shoes LOL purple? mmkssss ^-^ hmmm intense coversations. and this time with the guys LOL they kinda make it less intense though. especially when the is looking at his hair going "intensity UP!" or something like that? LOL completely kills it :P *sigh* good times :] i hope kathy had fun. i did for the most part. then maria took me and mindy home. ahhh love her mom. so funny xD we asked her if she could tell whos older. she took one look at us and the look on her face was like *stumped* then she went "NAHHHHH" in viet. LOLOLOL so hopefully we get the new phones tomorrow :] im so excited ^-^ but if we dont imma be sooo bummed :"[ so ok ive decided this week i need to annotate like HELLLLLLL xD im soooo behind D: i need to focus. no distractions. ahhh >.<

yay more family drama. what? now me and mindy cant see anyone just because our parents are being stupid and immature and fighting over something as stupid as money? WHAT THE HELL??? its not even my moms fault. theyre the ones who made a big deal out of it. this familys got so many fucking issues. everyones stubborn and proud. and they talk shit about each other behind their backs. we never had to deal with this in georgia. we didnt have all this drama on my moms side. everything is so up close and personal over here. so freaking nosy and quick to judge. always thinking theyre right. dont get me wrong. i love them.. sometimes.. but these old asian ways are a little over the top. *sigh* thank you wise one for calming me down >.<

peteroks z (12:48:44 AM): this is why i hate them.
peteroks z (12:50:01 AM): they would always say stupid shit like why arent you like this why arent you like that.
peteroks z (12:50:10 AM): FUCKERS PLEASE. im peter.
peteroks z (12:50:12 AM): i rock.

LOLOLOL

I don't really care cause I'm not really here and you're not really there.

Today we went to the supermarket (O_o?!?!) to get new cell phones... Yeaaaa. Mindy and I tried to convince my parents to get unlimited texting but I don't think I worked =/ bummerrrrrr. I saw this LG that's a touch and a slidey and I wanted it! But it costs $50 -__- and we took too long to decide and my grandparents were waiting for us to go to my uncles house so we had to leave without getting new phones :'[ so yea we went to my uncles house for some sort of small family gathering. I played with the little ones outside. So freakin adorable!! xD brandon is ooober cute when he tries to talk xD and when he sighs a shakes his head after he drinks water xD that cutieeee ^-^ but playing outside with them all day wore me out x_x they were diggin holes with the toy shovel in the backyard and taking turns was hard with one shovel and three little boys /)_< so I got each of them a plastic spoon LOL fun :P but know what's even more fun? Family drama! Yay -__- seriously? Just cause she has beef with my mom (who by the way didn't even start anything) my aunt couldn't even look at me. so my mom didn't do anything but she's gonna take it out on her anyway? And what the heck? Why not completely ignore that I exist just because I'm my moms daughter? Ha! Yea. Really mature -__- whatever. I'll just suck it up like I always do yea? On the plus side kathys present is all ready :] down side? I need to catch up ALOTALOT /)_< but lately I've been obsessed with one tree hill xD LOL season one on YouTube xD hehehe anyways super sleepy.. I think I'll go to bed early tonight. I owe danny 11surprises (only cause he was generous and let me slide some)

P.S. Happy five months <3

You're the perfect thing to say.

So yesterday I caught up with jessica and maria. Gag worthy? Sorry xD LOL it's good to catch up. I can't wait for kathys party thing so we can hang out :]

Last night me and mindy had a very interesting conversation till 430... yup. First sister to sister girl talk like... EVER??? LOL we talked about uhhh motorcycles... LOL and the perfect way to reject a proposal *bang bang* "try again another time when I'm NOT pmsing" *walks away* LOL so mean. I didn't think of it.. That was all mindy :P and we talked about how her future boyfriend is gonna be her opposite and she described my opposite since opposites attract. She described danny LOL xD we talked about a lot of stuff. Seriously... First time ever. She never opens up like this. It all started becaus she was fawning over "mr. Intensity" LOL .. Funny...

A little bit of heaven and a little bit of hell.

a little more than an hour and my hair still looks the same... O____o and my flow just started today too so sitting still was hellaaaaa uncomfortable D: but seriously.. it was like an hour and 6 minutes.. maybe more /)_< i need a real haircut -______-

things on my mind:
-kathys present... OMGOMGOMG O_____O
-eastofeden... i dont wanna D: *throws a fit*
-the song "happyending"... so pretty ^-^ but sad =/
-and YOUUUUUUUUUU ;D

A falling star, least I fall alone.

*sigh* accident?! ... thats just AWESOME... I can't sleep >.< I've been laying in bed for an hour and a half /)_< I guess now I owe danny 8 or 9 surprises? ... I think I lost count LOL and I only have one surprise in mind xD this is gonna be really hard...

So today we had a girls day out. We went to the mall and tastea and stuff.. and vivian updated us. I'm so proud of her for taking that big step :'] cause oh my daaang... that took a lot of guts *APPLAUSE* LOL I really hope it works out for her and that cookie dough doesn't give up and especially that she doesn't give up... I'm scared that she might >.< she's let it go before... it's her turn to fight for it.. slowly but surely >.< good luck dearie

You're my silver lining covered in gold.

So last night we finally went home. My mom made this weird vegetable/fruit smoothie drink that looked like chunky green slime for me and mindy to drink... It wasn't that bad just a little hard to swallow? But my dad came in and saw as and he laughed at us like a " HAHA SUCKERS :P" kind of laugh... Was it really that bad?! LOL anyway after that I gave mindy the her presents. She didn't like the socks I got her cause they lowered her self esteem and weren't PURPLE and black... Apparently I'm colorblind /)_< and she told me the gaara danny bought for her was ok... But then she told kathy that she liked it ... I think she liked it. Yay ^_^ so I have a confession to make... Even though danny gave me 15 extra minutes... I still didn't meet my curfew xD I was in bed by 145 but I didn't sleep until like 155 or something like that so uhh 7 surprises including tonights xD

Today was mindys birthday. Happy fourteenth bday! We woke up early and went to the shop.. Where my mom put me to work as the cashier and stuff. Then kim finally came and we talked a bit. Then Daniel, doreena, huong, and kathy came I visit. Daniel decided not to hit on kim LOL which is funny cause she seemed to know what he was up to and was mean to him xD sorry Daniel LOL he took us to the los Cerritos mall anyway. There we went to forever 21 where I finally got new jeans. They fit so nice too :'] yay lol now my top priority is getting shorts that my parents will approve of :P so we went back to the shop where we painted each others nails ... I suck LOL but that's ok :P then we all went out to eat at this one viet restaurant that I'm too lazy to spell out cause I can't xD then we all went back to my place to cut mindys cake. Doreena stuffed mindys face with whipped cream but Tracy didn't know how to use my camera so we got nothing.../)_< then I stuffed whipped cream in my moms face but she got me back LOL it was really gross xD after we cleaned up my mom gave peter and mart a beauty treatment.. xD such BABIES but hella funny xD when they finished with all that everyone went home and we hung out with kim a bit... I feel bad cause it seems like she's bored with us >.< she's so much older than us and I feel... Immature which I am :P but yea all in all it was a pretty good day..

Except omgoodness stupid mindy for making my mom feel bad... She didn't have to embarrass my mom in front of everyone -__- stupid giiiiirl. And I hate it when people talk crap about other people behind their back and they get all "nice" to their face. And I didn't talk to danny much today =/ bummer...

For what it's worth, darling dear, I wish you were here.

So ooooh now danny owes me a suprise cause I fell asleep before him last night :P somewhere around 330ish? xD but whatever I still owe him five counting tonight :P anywayss I forgot what time I woke up this morning but it was pretty late and my aunt was getting pissy :P my bad... So we went to chuck e cheeses today for amie's birthday Fun lol me and kathy got the jackpot like four times xD and then we lost that winnng streak cause that machine was getting whack :P and playing that basketball game is always fun haha high score was 49 I think? Lol I don't even remember but niiiice xD LOL then we took those sketch pictures and tried to fit the four of us in one picture.... Fail :P me and kathy were always cut off LOL and mindys big head was always taking up all the room :P I only like the funny picture I took with kathy... I tried to take a solo pic but... That was fail too D: after that we went to Asia buffet where I saw victor he gave me this awkward wave LOL speaking of awkward... Anthony made me feel super awkward today /)_(\ why did he have to pick on me?! But at least he doesn't hate us like last year LOL yeaaa after we ate we went on a walk around the krikorian metroplex place. I love that place. It's so perfect. There's food and frozen yogurt and walmart and a mall and the movies :P but anyway we played with the little kiddies and brandon was being the cutie he is xD then me vivian and kathy ran up the down escelater LOL I've always wanted to do that but I never had the guts to xD dudeee it's tiring and it hurt my eyes cause i was staring at the steps LOL then we reunited with the aunts and uncles and just talked I guess. Then we decided to watch harry potter since we were already there. But just us four while the older cousins and their friends went off to do stuff :P pshh whatever lol the movie was pretty good. Soooo INTENSE. But imjust waiting for the last movie so there can be a happy ending already :P but I have to admit there were some pretty cute parts that just made me go awww xD so we're back home and I'm waiting for my hair to dry already cause I'm hella tired D:

I got the perfect surprise for danny today but I don't like it D: I'm so disappointed that I killed it /)_< so since it's like after midnight... It's our four month <3 I'm sooo not getting the month number wrong this time xD

Because when the sun shines we'll shine together.

Today was fun :] warner. Park. Stater brothers. I'm glad danny and kathy came to visit but I wish I didn't have to be so paranoid /)_< I hid behind dannys shirt a lot until I decided that I was out too long and got dropped off at the house. Later I called them back to hear that kathy fell off a tree and needed bandaids... I almost believed them too /)_(\ then kathy "went home" and danny was being followed by a hobo with a shopping cart making weird noises... I believed that too D: so I told him to come back to the house and I'd keep him company... I AM gullible /)_(\ why would a hobo be following him? Durr /)_< but I guess it's ok cause walking around the neighborhood with danny wasn't soooo bad :P except there were these yappy dogs and I was like whatever cause they were behind a fence but then we heard a deep bark and a giant lab came out of nowhere with NO LEASH /)_(\ I was ready to run but danny wouldnt let me... Then we watched the lab leave a present on the lawn and walk into the neighbors garage.... Who KNOWS what he left in there :P lovely neightbors eh? Lol then I had to get back before my aunt came home from work and danny walked back to warner. I helped vivian with some of her homework and then took a really long nap.. Didn't wake up til 9? Took a shower. Ate. Watched the secret life. Prayed. Then ate again xD omgoodness I'm craving pancakes D: yuck. stupid red ninja makes me go crazy -__- anyways I just finished watching the movie 10 things I hate about you. What a cute movie xD it's definitely a favorite. Sooooo cute xD I'd watch the abc family series for it next but the itouch is totally drained and I'm a little sleepy. Calling kathy at 7 again :P and now I owe danny 4 surprises xD

With you not around it's a little more than I can stand.

Today I woke up at 2ish? Or somewhere around there. Ate rice for breakfast. Had an intense conversation/girl talk with kathy then watched harry potter. Then talked to danny. I love it when I can hear him smiling xD then we went out and ate crawfish. Yummm xD and when we got back to doreenas house we watched the Disneyland fireworks from her driveway. They were so pretty ^___^ while the others watched shining inheritence I was busy making dannys headache worse D: until he finally decided he would go to sleep :P then the five of us got together for a girl talk with brownies and vanilla ice cream. I couldn't say much about my stuff because honestly there's nothing to say. I'm just happy xD and id probably bore them anyway :P kathy opened up and even vivian. OMGoodness. FINALLY. I've been waiting forever to hear that girls story. Her blogs freaked me out and she never found the right time to tell me -___- but omg she's so cute LOL we helped her to make the first step in "going back to November" and we are sooooo dressing her up for church tomorrow because "sparks will fly when he meets her eyes" xD eeeep I'm so excited xD the thing is.... We're all kinda dressing up so her mom won't single her out... I guess I don't really mind :P I have to admit it's kinda fun to dress up but also kinda embarrassing when people notice xD anyways tomorrow we begin operation: back to November. ;D okok I just came up with that like right now but it works LOL I really hope he replies to her IM and I really hope this works out for the both of them >.< I like watching people fall in love or anything close to it. I like happy endings that lead to happy beginnings. I guess that's why I love watching kdramas... So it's not because of the cute guys :P *fingers crossed* let's hope this works >.<

Uhhh I told danny I'd try to sleep earlier.... It's passed four /)_< I owe him 2 surprises :P

I'm feeling like I'm falling away.

Panda plush so cuuute xD mmm super saiyan? /)_(\ moderation. Mhmm. so anyway today me and mindy went to doreenas house and I guess we're here for a couple of days :P I'm still not over my homesickness and stuff and I promised myself I'd start on east of Eden this week D: what happened?! If my cousins from Florida visit next week I won't have the time D: and then the week after that it's mindy and amie's birthdays... They're probably gonna have joint bday whether mindy likes it or not :P and speaking of birthdays omgoodness kevin made me feel so bad for not going to any of his and duys bday things D: it's not like I really have a choice >.< it's not like I don't care about them and the guilt trip was ridiculous >:O so not fair... And omgoodness kathys bday is coming up >.< what do I get her?! D: present shopping is so hard /)_< rawr and I hope Ill at least get to go to kathys bday thing if she ever gets around to planning it :P ahh I miss everyone >.<

So anyway today I took a nap and when I woke up I was like half asleep and mindy and my cousins were going to vivians house and was just like go without me... There's no room anyway. Then I went back to sleep sorta and when I came to my senses I realized I was home alone /)_(\ and doreenas house is hella scary D: last year me and my cousins thought it was haunted... I still kinda get freaked out about it but danny called and he kept me company <3 even though he did scare me a bit more -__- anyway :P I really had to go potty and I was really hungry but I was too scared to leave doreenas room and after like an hour and a half I decided to man up and find something to eat and I heard Daniel in his room xD silly me. He was home the whole time so I wasn't really alone LOL yup yup so smaaaaaaart xD and later when everyone came home we just did whatever and then baked and decorated cakes. The others had fun mixing frosting colors while I took a shower and when they finished we all decorated our own piece of the cake :P hehe we're such amateurs lol we finally finished at like 130ish or something? Idk I wasn't really paying attention to the time :P and we all ate our decorated piece. Yum ^_^ lol but all the frosting made the cakes soooo sweet >.< it was pretty good but I wish I didn't put so much frosting. Super sweet stuff isn't really my thing :P and now I'm super tired...

Buh buh big BANG.

new songs. new MVs. new hair. WTF why do they look so gay?! D: gdragon looks like a girl with his freakishly long hair. how did it grow so fast?! he used to be half bald... o.o why does top look a little feminine???? NOOOOOOOOOO.... and daesung too... but who really cares about him LOL at least taeyang and seungri look normal :DDD and daesung and seungri sang more in gara gara. but uhh i dont really like that song. ehh 2NE1's "I dont care" song is pretty catchy though :]

mmm a lot has happened in the past.. what? 2 weeks? idk i kinda lost track of time. ill do a recap laters. so this weekend is thomas and lena are here to visit. lena is sooo cute xD and the way she talks is freaking adorable. thomas is just his usual self but less aggressive and more adorable :] and i heard brandon was being super cute on his walk with mindy and vivian. omgoodness! all these little people xD plans for next week? family time. possibly the beach this saturday? then idk what else. my visit. its my turn. im excited. but i just know something is gonna ruin my plans. then i MIGHT go to kevin and duy's birthday thing. or at least one of them im way too scared to ask though /)_(\ but i already got their presents. tay and jeff too since i owe them for their birthday xD better late than never right?? which reminds me.. dinh dropped me off at the mall... the trip wasnt as awkward as i thought it would be. somehow we started talking about amusement parks and swimming and stuff LOL but poor dinh. his face lit up when tracy called but theyre like broken up or something? .<

Im steady steady steady pacing back and forth.

So today my plans were ruined =/ and I was all ready for it too and just as I was waiting my cousins called us to go to the beach. It was fun though. I got a little darker :P and me and vivian were boogey boarding haha funnnn. Then when we got tired and we walked all the way to the watering hole. Vivian carried the four boards and I carried a bag of bottled water -__- why did we even bring that with us?! It was sooo heavy D: and Tracy could have taken it to her car. I was having enough trouble walking through the sand -_- I almost fell over like a drunk person sooo many times xD it was embarrassing and I evn tripped on a rock I think O.o that was embarrassing too :P cause there were people around and then we walked all the way to the car and on the way there I was attracting a bee and everytime it came near us me and vivian would freak out and run away screaming... Yea lots of cars were passing by too /)_< when we finally got to tracys she made me noodles the right way xD yum. Then we messed around some more and went home. I'm catching up in the secret life if the American teenager ;D oh yea and the night before I stayed up til four watching baby and me. Omgoodness it was soooo cute xD yeaaa hmmm now I'm just counting down the hours...

Nothing but me and the sun heading down this way.

So today was a good day. Except I got caught not doing chores /)_< LOL oh well. We got kathy a birthday cake and surprised her at her house. The cake was yummy :] and omgoodness I can't believe she's 17 >.< she doesn't look her age. A senior?! D: we're all growing up so fast :'[ time goes by way too fast. Ahh nostalgia >.< anyways after we surprised her we went to Scott and Phillips house for the fathers day thing. Mmmmm good food xD and we played with the itouches and messed around and watched UP omgoodness it. Was. Too. CUTEEE! xD like oh my snaps it was really good :] lalalaloved lol. Then we played spoons. Rawr it's hard to pick up cards on slippery table and mart and phillip totally cheated -_- jerksss. Double teaming on me... Stupid CHEATERS :P then the older cousins got us late night starbucks but mart spilled mine in Phillips room -__- what an idiot. And me and vivian were lipsync battling xD it was hella lame and embarrassing but fun LOL like wooooow super embarrassing and then we both ended up singing out loud and in each others faces xD but before that all the cousins surrounded doreenas mom while she was sleeping and we were about to start screaming happy birthday to freak her out but someone couldn't contain their giggles and she woke up and we were like uhhhh... *everyone screams random stuff* xD super ghetto LOL then when I finally got home and showered and stuff everyone was like asleep... So I finished watching a millionaires first love... I teared up a bit. It was very cute. But OMG especially the birthday present. Dam these Koreans. They always think of the cutest things >.< *sigh*

Your love has got me addicted.

So Thursday was our three month. THREE not FOUR. Wtfruit I can't believe I said four /)_< how embarrassing... So yea a super cute fat panda :] surprise? Yup. Super suprised? Hell to the yea. Still hard to believe. And I still can't believe I said four DAMMIT >:O rawr.

So our satellite doesn't work anymore D: and I really wanted to watch gran torino and the curious case of Benjamin button :'[ but on the bright side we got the box thing for regular tv so I have the Korean channel xD but I can't understand a word -__- then again who needs to understand big bang?? :P I guess I'll finish watching a millionaire's first love now. I already know the girl is sick and it's gonna end all sadlike and whatnot. And the guy is UGLY but I guess he's growing on me :P it's starting to get cute and I'm starting to get sleepy >.< but I want to finish this movie so yeaaa :]

Family thing tomorrow. Should be fun. But... Always bittersweet =/

Talk, Play, Love.

so last week was a bust -_- the day i got my bottom retainer, i lost both by throwing them away at lunch. realized it too late at 7ish and begged scott to take me to school to look for it. then i asked the custodian guys if they could take down the trash at the top and they ended up taking a shovel and stick to help me look for it. i could barely see over the dumpster thing. mother eff. gave up at 8? and went home crying. my parents were pretty pissed /)_(\ then i had to do my essay and had like no sleep this week and i just want to crash but i have my history ppt and annotations to do. and then i have to study for my finals D: my grades are so bad this year >.<

so this morning peter took me and mindy out to eat dim sum across the street. it wasn't that good LOL. oh well. peter was being retarded as usual. food coma!! then after we stopped by my grandmas and played with vinh. that cutieeeeee. he called mart a dog xD and then peter called vinh a pig and he was like no im a DOOOOOOOG. cute xD and he was riding his little tricycle around in circles. im surprised he didnt run into anything. he was riding with one hand and he wasnt looking where he was going... more coordinated than me and hes only 3 TT__TT but he has the cutest smile xD lol

so today was suppose to be hw and study all day.. i was about to start until peter took us out -_- now im too lazy to do anything. i was gonna do some last night but i was feeling all whatevers and stuff so i went to sleep. im still tired... i really want to take a nap but i know i wont wake up. rawr. only 3 more days left. i just need to hang in there >.< stupid excuses -_-

When I hear your voice nothing matters at all.

rawr.. bad day >.< woke up and realized i didnt finish annotating. then i had to print out kathys stuff for her (which turns out she didnt need cause she didnt even present today -_-) then my dad was like lecturing me in the car for being late to school like everyday... sometimes its not even my fault D: during the history benchmark, crosby checked a few peoples' answers but not everyone's how unfair is that?! then in badminton billy friggin hit me in the eye with a birdie and my eye got all red and a little swollen /)_< embarrassing. found out i did not so good on my math test D: and i was trying to annotate all day and that didnt work out too well at all. kikawa was just getting on my nerves. he keeps marking me down >:O i dont even do anything wrong wtf -_- its all long and andrewvu D: david nguyen is getting on my last nerves too. being a jerk doesnt make people like you.. smart one -_- i really wanted to smack richard at lunch >:O RAWR. and i was just falling asleep in chem and english. lots of hw today... bummer.

but the little amount of time after school made me forget. barely 3 minutes with him and it all disappeared. i dont even know how but danny worked his magic on me xD

Im the one :]

Danny Carroll <3 *big heart*

I'll remember you.

i was soo tired today >.< but at the assembly i wasnt LOL me and jessica were just commenting on every little thing so it was fun haha. and maria and kathy did good :DDDDD omg only 2 years left. we only put 2 fingers up during the alma mater TT_______TT *sniffles* jessica started crying lol imma miss all those seniors :'[ especially viet and david/vincentSPACEvu and wise one(well imma miss seeing him at school lol). we were feeling so nostalgic haha but then when i went to 3rd i got sleepy again and then i got a detention for my "truancy" on thursday -_- i gotta go fix that >:O and kikawa kept picking on me cause he knew i was tired. i was like seriously just leave me alone >:O its not like i wasnt paying attention when we were in our groups. its not like i was sleeping... but i did fall asleep in chem >.< and when i woke up i could feel cox staring at me D: its not like he cares but hes probably thinking that thats why i have a B in his class :'[ lunch and english was whatevers and then we hung out in the fields during the baseball game. it was fun and oh so relaxing xD it was a really nice day. maria took a nap. i was gonna but ... nah lol jeffrey was going all model status on us. haha i took some pro pictures. then me and jessica and kathy took pictures with my phone. xD haha neil popped in a couple of them too. but i ended up only getting a couple pictures cause i ran out of memory xD thennn afterschool i kinda gave danny a hug even though he was all sweaty :P and i DONT regret it :] and then me and mindy and kathy squeezed into her dads truck to go home xD i feel so bad >.< when i got home i played with the itouch and fell asleep. oops haha. now my mom is making me put her songs on my ipod. i guess the itouch is mine now >:] mwhahah.

All i ever wanted was to see you smiling.

so i promised myself i wouldnt go on aim today. i cant handle anymore distractions. tomorrows friday which means i need to handle just one more "sleepless" night before the weekend >.< honestly i shouldnt be blogging but i couldnt resist xD so i got to school so late this morning cause my dad was taking forever and then my mom got all anal and drove us to school.. wtf. she doesnt drive... and she especially cant drive the van o.o i thought we were gonna die. cause she was yelling and driving at the same time and im like pay attention to the road! /)_(\ scary~~ then i watched the boat races thing and i saw phillips. wtf its like a box... and i was suppose to be in that?! pshh. afterschool he told me that after 1.2 seconds it sunk xD poor johnny haha he replaced me.

so today was pretty chill. me likey :] but i was sooo tired i couldnt fully enjoy it D: so danny got saturday school :O oooooh. shame shame. :P how do you get saturday school for no reason? that makes nooo sense. maybe it was a mistake. there are a lot of dannys and a few other carrolls right? :p but of course im a bad influence and thats probably why he got saturday school. yup all those illegal things i did like try to buy cigarettes, and movie hopping, and the payperview. shameful. just SHAMEFUL. pshh whateverr :P so anyway afterschool me and mindy walked home. it was so hot. turns out my mom was home today and when we got home she made us run across the street to my grandmas house to get mindys shoes. so we j-walk over there... DANGEROUS. and then we open the door and vinh is running around halfnaked LOL and then my grandma tells us that my dad already took the shoes home. so we j-walk across bolsa again and go look for the shoes. then we call my dad and he tells us he left them in the van... the one he drove to work... THIRTY MINUTES AWAY IN SANTA FE SPRINGS -_- we're just like what now?! and hes like uh too bad. mindy was just like I NEED SHOES!!!!! and i was just like I COULDA BEEN NAPPING THIS WHOLE TIME x______x so i finally took a nap and set up 2 alarms. when i woke up i went back to sleep. then jennifer called me. THANKGOODNESS. but i was like wtf jennifer has my number? and then i hear a guy's voice and im like OH YEA ITS JEFF! xD my bad. hes all worried that he woke me up but he really SAVED ME xD yay. after i gave him hw i went into my moms room to see mindys hair. it was all curled and she looked so girly xD honestly. she looked very pretty :'] and she wore my mom's shoes which i didnt think were too bad but she was freaking out cause she was too tall -_- seriously?! id kill to be taller... i bet shes worried about her DATE and that he'll be too short for her LMAO justkeeding. but really theyre only in middle school and most of them probably havent hit puberty yet LOLOL then i took pictures for her and walked her outside so peter could take her to school. when i came back my mom was all excited and she wanted to see the pictures. then like 15 minutes later she asks me what time it is.
me: 6:12?
my mom: THATS IT?!!
*3 minutes later*
me: now its 6:15...
my mom: o.o THAT WAS THE LONGEST THREE MINUTES OF MY LIFE.
me: O__o wow mom you missing mindy?
my mom: *bigsmile* uhh... no i just want her to get back so she can tell me all about it
LOLOLL of course.. and shes doing something with her eye and her nose was getting red. aww her littlest baby is growing up :'] i have this urge to dress up and sneak in just to keep and eye on her. my mom even asked me if parents were allowed to be there LOL not because she didnt trust mindy but i think its more cuase its mindys first dance lol ok so mindy went to the dance but ive never been to one... and peters all being mean to me about it cause i dont know how to freak and im like I DONT WANT TO.. and OMG MINDY KNOWS HOW TO GRIND o.o but she says shes never done it. but she could if she tried? o.o im not even really sure how that works... how does she?!

so anyway. tennis banquet today. i coulda gone OMG I COULDA GONE. yesterday i told my mom about how tuan's sister asked me to go with him but i told her i couldnt go and my mom was just like why cant you? and im like o.o cause you said so? and shes like.... you should go. and im like huh?! so mindy called My and she told tuan but it was too late. oh wells :P i have to do history anyway... which im working on now... yeaa. but omg i coulda gone. but its probably a good idea that i didnt. and then oh yea my mom found out about youtube on the itouch and she liked it so she freaking took it back for herself >:O but i still use it cause it charges in my room mwahhaa xD ok enough procrastinating /)_<

If at first you dont succeed.

so tired. itouch is cool xD but its just one more thing thats distracting me =/ only 2 more weeks... almost there >.< so i skipped first period today to go to the ortho and get the bottom mold done. yuck. then i went home cause i didnt wnat to go to school yet. instead of napping for like 30 minutes i played with the itouch xD i shoulda studied some more but my math book was in the car. then when i got to school i failed my math test D: yay... and in chem i had a sneezing fit and cox looked over at me and gave me a WHATS GOING ON OVER THERE kind of look and i just looked up and was like o.o i was sneezing? and then he started laughing and was like is THAT what that was?! and everyone looked over and laughed and someone went WTF?! THAT WAS A SNEEZE?! -_- how embarassing... then i got a 3+/4- on my research essay xD HELLS TO THE YEAAAAAA ;D i was sooo surprised. yay xD

so afterschool i went to cherry's house to hang out while mindy, my, and christina worked on their project. their little sister is soo cute but just a little bit annoying. still cute though haha. its only expected. i mean shes got no one else to play with. so mindys friends are cool haha. and my was really nice. haha tuan's sister. she was trying to get me to go to banquet with him. i felt really bad >.< she was really trying and she really cares about her brother. i was like awwww. i would go if i could :'[ then after that me and cherry left the girls to update each other on everything. it was like whoa. fun. but then we had to go home cause it was getting late and i still had a shizload of hw to do >.< but omgoodness we should do that again xD

so im trying soo hard. but its seems like all the effort has gone in vain. im not gonna stop trying though. cause when it comes to something like this, i dont give up quite so easily.

You can cut ties with all the lies that youve been living in.

mother eff. i woke up 3 hours passed my nap >:O didnt do any homework or research history. and i found out i broke my bottom retainer and i probably wont get a new one until wednesday or thursday cause they dont friggin open on tuesdays. rawr!! thats $250 right there :'[ so my itouch dream just disappeared -_- and now im gradually losing my voice cause im sick and i keep practicing my lines :'[ and mindys trying to hatch her stupid egg at my desk so i have like no room. why is she doing this anyway?! and mine and kathys flow are synchronizing which means i get my lovely gift a bit early this month >:O rawr rawr rawr.

If the sun shuts down and decided not to shine no more.

i was freaking out all day over my lines and i ended up chickening out >.< but i think ill be fine tomorrow if kathys my brutus >.< hopefully it works out. ive been practicing and stuff and i guess im ok? but still kinda nervous. its one thing to do it in the mirror but another to do it on the senior stage /)_(\ ahh i should have gone today D:

imma try my bestttt not to procrastinate tonight. im sooo over waking up late and rushing to school D: and i have a shizload to do. only 2 weeks left and i cant get lazy yet. but i think its too late >.<

some things are better left unsaid. perhaps i said too much so now idk whats real. it all seems too good to be true. so im keeping my guard up just in case. i see it and its JUMPING out at me like a fish out of water and i dont want it to slap me in the face.

Like a shoebox of photographs with sepiatone loving.

ewwieeee. im sick D: my throat hurts and it is NOT. FUN. D: so last night i fell asleep on the phone with danny AGAIN /)_< and it was really bad timing and he apparently he tried to wake me up by calling me names but my headphones fell out so i didnt hear anything and idk what jerknames he called me >:O and i ended up hanging up on him by accident xD and i was suppose to wake up early this morning but that didnt happen. and then i was suppose to do my hw but that didnt exactly work out either cause instead of reading my chem book i started reading mindys TO CATCH A PIRATE book xD almost done... then i went to church with peter. we were late D: and father kennedy was doing the mass so it was superrrrrrr boring. and i was like falling asleep >.< bady kelly =/ and then i realized i was sitting next to that guy who goes all naruto status in badminton and freaking hits me with the birdies -_- i was like hell to the no! i aint holding your hand! >:O then after church peter and mart ganged up on me and i dropped my phone /)_< rawr... so we were suppose to go to some dinner with my parents today for some family thing but i guess they decided not to? no clue.. but yeaa more time to procrastinate on hw yea? but im just not feeling well D: kinda wanna upchuck everything >.< nastaaaayy. and i have to do my portia lines tomorrow :'[ im scared. and i have math test on wednesday. ahhh. so much to worry about =/

And after all, you're my wonderwall.

hmm today i watched slumdog millionaire and bedtime stories. :] enjoyed both. then practiced my portia lines. i think i kinda got them down. now to speak loudly and enunciate D: then later went to dennys where again, i ate like a monster. i was so full afterwards xD but while we were waiting for our food me and mindy overheard the people behind us talking about dungeons and dwarfs xD and we started laughing... we so mean LOL but they were like "the dwarf killed me on level _" and "ohh i summoned the dark knight" or something like that xD IVE NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE IN REAL LIFE. it was funny xD then got home, showered, and watched snl. justin timberlake is funny xD but now my momma's making me go to bed :'[ nights world

Time together is just never quite enough.

hmm today was whatevers. a bit long and boring. and its not very easy for me cause i feel like a bad person and now i dont know what to do. let the awkward turtle wreak havoc cause i got nothing x_x imma become like the plague and end up being resented. i just know it. i keep dwelling on what a horrible person i must be o.o what. the. fruit. DDD:

so my mom called me to ask me what we wanted to eat. and i cant decide so she doesnt respond and says goodbye -_- does that mean we're not eating? O_o gahh im soo confused. and im hungry. i just realized that we havent had a home-cooked meal in the longest time =/ how saad. i should learn to cook... >.< im a failure as a daughter. my parents come home from work really late everyday and i cant even cook dinner for them sometimes? yikes.

today i wanted to hide. maybe just take the long way. /)_(\ but i couldnt take the initiative. (<< hehe i like that word now)

Lets go to a place far away.

push came to shove and im still not budging. i really cant make everybody happy. even though i do try. and i pinky promise that im not mad at kathydao. lovelovelove her.

so from now on im gonna remember to take the initiative so that what happened this time will never happen again :P dude. im so excited that jeff thought of such a cute way to ask maria to banquet xD cuuute ^_^ but who needs banquet anyway?! me and jessica are gonna have our own private banquet where we're gonna eat frozen food and watch the little mermaid :P so HA. :]

after school i took a nice nap :] and got a very nice wake-up call but im still tired and i have 2 more math assignments to do >.< rawr. i need more time.

Do you know you're my miracle?

i soo did not want to wake up this morning >.< and crosby wont let me do drug trafficking in cuba. shes MAKING me do venezuela /)_< even though its something im not very "passionate" about. fine... whatever she wants. i better get a good grade >:O and then i told jessica something i wasnt suppose to tell her. and I THINK KATHYS MAD AT ME /)_(\ i did it for her own good >.< i sorry... D: but we had a mjkk meeting today. worked most things out. i didnt finish my story soo i guess we'll have another meeting? haha we're so formal xD fun. good times. lets get back to them yea? ^_^ cause i sure missed it. see???? we wouldnt have had that meeting if i hadnt told jessica right?! RIGHT. so yea ;D but im still sorry =/ so anywaysss my parents picked me up afterschool and i asked them to take me to barnes and nobles and my mom had a tantrum -_- and my dad was having fun making fun of her for having a tantrum. but mostly i was like wow what a baby >.< and then she complained that we were taking so long to get the books but what really took forever was waiting for her starbucks -_- and when we told her that she started yelling about how common sense woulda told us to just leave without it. woooow. yea -_- then we got del taco and my mom was in a better mood and she started talking about how i could get and itouch and i would give her my ipod :D niice. but now its time to convince my dad D: that shall be difficult. bummer.

mmm. very intense talk yesterday. heart was beating like crazy. like i stopped everything and poured it all out >.< it took me a while for each response though. i wanted to be careful. and it kinda took a lot out of me. but it was good to let it out. elfy said he was proud of me. but still. it was overwhelming. *sigh* it was a good talk though. mhmm

ok time to start on hw >.<

Cause maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.

hmm. woke up earlyish even though i slept at like 3 last night. then i did absolutely nothing productive for a few hours. downloaded lots of songs :] yay. then finally continued to do my hw. then my parents came home at like 5 which freaked me out... cause that was soo early. and they walked through the door and kept talking about what a beautiful day it was xD i was like sure. i havent been outside but i guess so? and then they were like.. lets go fishing ^____^ so we went to newport beach. and it was cold. i coulda used a blanket. but all i had was my pullover jacket and that wasnt enough >.< i didnt fish though. my mom and mindy seemed like a handful for my uncle already and there werent enough poles and he just wanted to fish, so i was like ok ill let him be. wasnt in the mood to get down and dirty anyway. so i sat on the pier eating chips like a fattieee :) *seductive voice* i was surrounded by the ocean. know what that reminds me of? "shall i compare thee to [the ocean blue]?" mhmm. i felt like such a loner so i called up some people to keep me company. it was way too cold. and windy. and i had to pee so bad >.< since i had a venti passion tea from starbucks. and it was nice to have some people to complain to xD just keeding. and then i discovered a playground on the beach. it was very exciting lol there was a swingset and a jungle gym and slides xD it was overwhelming. but it was darkish so i just settled for sitting on the swings and talking on the phone until my dad called me cause he was scared i was gonna get kidnapped. hmmm. that was good.

p.s. just cause im going through some stuff and it seems like im a little vulnerable, it doesnt mean a thing.

and mind sprinkling some of that magic love hither? just feeling a little lonely in my corner but thats probably my fault for going there in the first place right? *sigh*

oh and i keep remembering how at anne's graduation party thing i went to scotts room and played with tracys phone. then daniel randomly came in and sat in the closet to talk to his girlfriend on the phone. he closed the slidy door and spoke quietly to her. i think it was his gf. but yea. it was cute cause he was speaking so soft and sincerely and i could tell he had all his attention on her even though phillip was being all nosy and trying to listen. then daniel pushed the slidy door into his face xD lovely.

Just get back up when it knocks you down.

woke up pretty late today. and when i finally got out of bed i ate fruit and did math homework. soo long. one down two more assignments to go /)_< stupid zinner. so we went to church at St. callistus (i think thats how you spell it?) the youth mass is always fun. well not fun, but i dont fall asleep in there like at st barbara >.< the choir is really good and they really get me back into the zone and calms me down :] best part was the ride home. somehow we got to talking about how mart looks like a horse and then peter and mart started neighing and galloping like horses in the car. SO EMBARRASSING. especially since peter was driving and mart was in the passenger seat and both their windows were down and we were at a red light >.< and the car next to us had their window down too. i could tell the lady was trying to ignore us though xD she had sunglasses on so we couldnt tell. haha. then peter told us about how one time while they were at a red light mart started banging on the windows like he was being kidnapped or soemthing and the guys in the car next to them started freaking out and pointing at peter and going OMG SOMETHINGS HAPPENING until mart started laughing and they were like... oh -_- LOL idiots. but i love them ;D poor kathy has to live with them. xD

Are we different?

it feels like m[a]jkk has drifted :'[ i miss it. im remembering our intense conversations and how it was so easy to just call any of them up when i was down. i know ive been out of it. but it feels like id be burdening them. i tried. like last time. but maria was stuck in the middle with my problems and i felt really bad. so i kinda stopped. they keep telling me that thats what friends are for and i know that thats the same thing id say to them too. now i just feel stupid >.<

If he knew how bad.

i want it to be worth it. but it almost seems like theres no use. like one of us doesnt care anymore. last night, i was too tired to let anything bother me. then i started thinking and i couldnt sleep anymore. so i stayed up all night and thought about it some more. i realized that it bothered me a lot. but the whole world was sleeping. so i kept it to myself... who was i going to talk to? it was 4 in the morning. emotions bottled up inside turns into a bad thing. im not gonna explode. some of it may slip through the cracks and leak out a little, but it wont explode. i would never explode. the sharp bits of glass might cut the people i really care about. but id never let that happen. so i bottled it back up and tried again. i wanted to talk. but he basically turned his back on me and couldnt/wouldnt look me in the eyes. so i stopped trying, and maybe i started to cry a little but thats ok. no one saw. i didnt ask him to be there. i suggested he leave cause i knew he didnt want to be there. i dont need his pity. its the last thing i need. wouldnt it have been easier to just watch him walk away? i had to sit there for the longest 10 minutes or so of my life, in silence, just wishing that i could understand and that we could fix everything. maybe i should just stop.

________________________

"If he knew how bad
I wanna make this work,
How my heart belongs to him,
He wouldn't be able to walk away.

If he knew how bad
I gotta have him close,
If I ever let him go,
I wouldn't make it a single day.

He would never have to ask again,
If he knew how bad."

I dont want to fall to pieces.

imsorry.

that i dont take risks.
that i keep to myself sometimes.
that i dont always talk about whats bothering me.
that im scared of losing you.
that im ambiguous.
that i make you overthink things.
that sometimes i push you away (but i always wish youd come back).
that sometimes i do things that make you nervous.
that im incapable of giving you that luxury.

i dont do it on purpose but sometimes you do some of these things to me too.

So just take my hand and say that you will never let it go.

mmm. i woke up sooo late today. 7:40 >.< that is RIDICULOUS. and i was just like ehh.. can i just NOT go to school since im gonna be late anyway and its gonna bother me D: but turns out i was right on time ;D i missed breakfast though. my routine was all out of whack. but i got back in it. so in chem kathynguyen asked me the most random question EVER. first she asked me for my agenda and wrote a note... when i read it i was like ahhh /)_(\ why would you ask that?! and then she started laughing at me -_- someone doesnt get the whole "shy" thing. imma have to have a talk with her tomorrow cause now shes gotta tell me some of her dirty little secrets >:]
ohh. im soothsayer for english. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW I GOT THAT PART /)_< i blame martin. and then mirsch made a comment about how i need to own the part so i should call up danny and we could practice... SO EMBARRASSING >.< but whatevers... so mindys last dance is on thursday, june 4. and tennis banquet is on thursday, june 4. HMMMMMM. i wonder what that could possibly mean for me xD actually, im waaay too scared to ask my parents >.< whos gonna take me? neil? idk hes got jessica :P but he can take 2 "dates" right?! unless korea asks jessica. but but but... i dont really want to go with neil >.< but tennis banquet would be fun ^^ so im stuck. but who says im going anyway? im scared >.<
so anyway afterschool i was suppose to go home at like 330 but then chris came over and we started messing around with his phone. its touch screen o.o SOO COOOL. and omg he freaking pretended to push me off the bench and i screamed soo loud >.< EMBARRASSING and then like mindy took a crazy embarrassing picture of me. i was making a face and messing around and she FREAKING TOOK THE PICTURE AND SHOWED IT TO MARIA and then maria ran away with the phone so i chased after her but im hella slow and couldnt catch up to her D: and i deleted the picture on his phone but he sent it to "THE INTERNET" whatever that means -___- FREAKING MINDY SOLD ME OUT. thats why i dont like taking pictures -_- mother effers. SCARRED ME FOR LIFE OK GUYS?! yeesh -_- and then my mom made us go home cause she said there was an earthquake... O_o uhh NO THERE WASNT. no one else felt it... my momma be crazy xD
and on a serious note.. sometimes it makes me nervous and it scares me. its quiet and i dont know what to say or do cause duh, its me. i want to take the risk but im scared to >.< so im just there and i cant help thinking, is that enough? i cant read minds but the look on a person's face can say a lot.

so i looked up the recent earthquakes and turns out there was a 4.1 earthquake at the same time my mom called me... i guess she was right? xD

Tonight's the night i let it go.

way to lose it. guess what just went poof? -_-

And you got a smile that could light up this whole town.

hmm. kathy said it was cute. then mindy looked at her and then she was like WAIT NO IT WASNT! >:O haha funny :P afterschool i went home and watched marley and me. its ok...? i guess? kikawa already ruined it for me -_- so i was just waiting for IT to happen. i thought it was going to be tragic or something... turns out i dont really care because i dont really like animals and it doesnt phase me? :P then i took a nap but then wise one callem me to get eggs... i was like heh? he wanted to borrow 2 eggs... only 2. O_o gonna cook something for magie or something? idk thats still a little weird for me o.o he can see whoever he wants but shes my age so thats kinda weird >.< so spanish project was EMBARRASSING. they all laughed when we danced /)_(\ of course... and i didnt get full credit. but whatevers :P
so i went to vivians house for dinner. yum. and we watched taylor swifts new music video for you belong with me... OMG SOOOOO FRIGGIN A CUUUUUUUUUUUTE ^^ and then we kept playing it over and over again haha sooo cute xD and then joycelyn told us to look up "full of expressions starking" omgoodness. the little boy was sooo cute. he was making these faces. like sad face, surprised face, and stuff. but my favorite was his "im in love" face and what i call his "how YOU doing?" *wink* face xD gahh so cuute. then this one guy from 2pm did the same faces. it was cuuute. and then they did my favorites together and damm IT WAS TOO CUTE xD i was like freaking out and me, mindy and viv kept watching it over and over again eeeeeep. haha and then we searched up something else and we got that 2pm guy singing "dont wanna try" OMG JESSICA WAS RIGHT! HIS ENGLISH IS FRIGGIN GOOOOOOOOOOD. if only she had sent me those videos, i could give her the credit for making me a 2pm fan :P but it goes to mindys friend now. lol im probably gonna get hit by a lot of birdies for saying that :P
mindy wants to bake cookies for joycelyn but we dont have the stuff. i was planning to get it for her today when my parents came home but that didnt work out. maybe we'll get the stuff tomorrow.and my mom is making us clean up... im probably not gonna until like.. late. then maybe we'll got to the festival fair thing at blessed sacrament at 630sih with vivian? idk. not sure if my parents will let. so tired. gotta wake up early and do hw D: hmm mindy and mom are watching the spirit. i dont get it at alllllll. its sooo weird. LOL oh and dude i watched the suju video. LOL kibum DOES look like a fag xD and like in the beginning of the video he walks away and i guess hes suppose to be sad but i think i saw him smile?! so i was confused... the song was catchy. i like. :] and theyre kinda growing on me. BUT there are still too many members >.< cuase i still only know some of their names. kangin is a fattieee (: *seductive voice* donghae also looks like a fattieee in his weird suspenders but overall they dont look THAT bad :P except for kibum. ew. LOL. so mindy and my mom are watching the spirit... its sooo weird xD mmm tired. night world.

Its like when it rains.

1.freshman in my first period is in the hospital and it sounds serious... it just makes me sad and it makes me think ok?
2.ppl's little hissy fits and going all drama-queen status on everyone... seriously, man up.
3.the inconsistency... cause i was on the brink today and it FREAKED. ME. OUT.
4.freshman doesnt listen!! omgoodness FAILFAILFAIL. -_- then he goes and makes it worse. and he has a higher grade in math than me?! wtf.

happy now? :P its funny how everyone kept asking me what was wrong today. kinda caught me off guard. is it so wrong to just think? i guess so... well for me it is. i overthink way too much. even neil knew something was wrong... dude i didnt even know O_o that was so weird. so i had a good talk with kevinwiththeeye. what a loser. next time hes soo walking with us >:O even if he is "kind of a boy" haha. yeaa im just kind of out of it. when we were walking home i was soo tired. D: i jsut wanted to sit down in the shade and listen to my ipod. sighsighsigh. now i just want to lay in bed with my music. so i really dont need this friggin spanish powerpoint right now -_- and if we dont get full credit on this, too bad, cause i dont flipping care.

Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe.

im sorry that people cant handle the truth and get all drama queen status on me. but ill still be there for them *cough cough* he knows who he is. ill make that trust reappear. no more poof. everyones being such a drama queen. theyre guys for goodness sake! man up... yeesh -_- justkeeding i know theres hurt but being rational is important. keeping it cool is important. NOT LOSING YOUR TEMPER is important :P forgive me please. ive told him once and ill tell him again "I GOT YOU BUDDY" ;D
im getting kinda ehh with the inconsistency. getting whiplash? yuuup. i asked because i worry. and everyone knows i worry a lot. about whoever and whatever, i dont just think about myself you know. im getting the feeling its like another promise in the dark.

what made my day today? jeffy... aww we had a talk. im glad he cares enough to ask how i felt about it xD <3<3<3 but it really didnt bother me at all LOL its the thought that counts though haha

When i hear, it takes over me.

mall. crawfish. then diggin through the trash <<< NASTY SHIZZLE
i <3333 vivian pham. be owing her big time.

Welcome to my life.

this is what i get for being on cloud nine too long. now i have to try to fix everything and until i do, im giving up aim and my phone for a while.

p.s. i need someone to ask danny not to walk home on monday. this time, im not giving in.

Do you know?

i had a baaaad dream last night >.< i didnt understand what was going on until after i woke up though. i'm guessing it was because before i went to sleep my parents lectured me about school projects outside of school and how im making it harder on everyone else... =/ i think they were the ones who were blowing it out of proportion and making it seem worse than it really is. i was really pissy over that last night but now something is just eating at me. i feel like a horrible sister cause im alwaysalwaysalways dragging mindy around everywhere. during my lecture she was like "what is this?! i feel like unwanted luggage -_-" im a horrible sister :'[ and im soo sorry for that. but she should know that id do whatever for her. she hasnt asked me to do anything big for her yet, just little things, but when it comes down to it. dude ill do it.

Mmm what you say?

today was hot. im pmsing. and the heat isnt doing anything to make it better D:< today was whatever. classes were long and stuff. then i walked home. that was fun. i started kicking a tic tac box around. anger issues?! no lol just bored. then i hear kathy calling me from her car. stalker status?! yes. very much. got home and ate pizza again -_- i should be sick of it by now. then mindy took the laptop away. so i watched no reservations. so cuute xD the little girl was kinda annoying though O_o and the guy was like really ugly... katherine zeta-jones' accent was a little difficult to tolerate and that one waitress was such a hoe... O_O other than that. it was cute ^_^ when i finished i turned on boxing for my grandpa but he didnt watch it cause he was in the shower. and then it ends. and he calls me to change it to another channel -____- its not my fault he didnt freaking watch it when he had the chance. he calls me like 5 times a day just to turn it on for him. are you serious? how much boxing can you watch? and then when i dont pick up he leaves angry messages... yeesh. asian ppl and their violence. and im sure hes seen the same fights like a million times -___- boxing is boring anyway o.o know what else? i really hate spanish >:O kevin keeps telling me we gotta do our spanish project. no duh. -_- what bugs me is he keeps blaming the procrastination on me. its not just me you know. we were chatrooming with kathy and jessica yesterday about the project and we got the video stuff down. he didnt help at all. too busy doing vocal stuff and thats MY fault? if he blames me for not getting full credit and then ignores me for like 2 weeks... know what? NO ME IMPORTA >:[ rawr. i doubt itll take much to edit a 2 minute video. but it takes a while to do a poster on the guy's bio and who's job is that? oh. mine. and no im not gonna sing in front of the class. and he cant make me. this saturday is gonna be hot. and i dont feel like doing the video -_- *sigh* what to do now? i think ill watch 17 again. because according to vivian "zac efron is so hot" uhh suuuure. i hope i dont get another virus... -_-

Happy birthday to you...

last night i crossed the street to my grandparents house to celebrate vinh and my grandpa's birthdays. when i got there i ate some pizza. the crust was really good. vinh completely ignored me... the little bugger. haha he was in his own little world with his toy cars. then my mom came with the "cars" themed cake. dude. the look on vinh's face when he saw it was PRICELESS. friggin adorable xD his eyes got all big. he started jumping up and down and kinda bit his hand cause he was so excited. then he came over to me, hid behind me then started pointing at the toy car on top of the cake. he was like is that for me? and we were all like noooo its for grandpa xD haha then my dad left to get the candles. and he went looking for my dad, still jumping around. when my dad got back he gave vinh the candles. xD it was cute cause he was really amazed by the box of candles LOL that cutie xD finally my mom started lighting the candles and vinh started singing happy birthday to himself and clapping his hands. then he blew the candles out too early haha. my mom had to relight them and we sang happy birthday for reals. cuuute. after we cut the cake and stuff. vinh got a lot of money. and he was just holding like $200 in his hands and then he told me he was gonna go buy a car with it. and i was like really? what color? and he was like red. :] you know like in cars? cause that boy loves that movie haha and then im like where are you gonna buy it? and hes like that store over there. and im like what store? and hes like that store! WALMART! LOLOLL what a cutie.

Its always better when we're together.

after church we got a car wash from some ppl at the gas station by sams club. there was this guy with the "free car wash" sign and he was dancing to get ppls attention. obviously he got ours. my mom found him pretty hilarious. and my parents were like he must be gay. and i was just shaking my head at that stereotype. and while we were getting our car washed my mom was like staring at the sign guy. then after the carwash we donated $15 to them and as we were driving out, we tipped the sign guy a dollar /)_< it was soooooooooooooo embarrassing D: i was hiding my face the whole time. and it turns out that dancing sign guy really was gay. xD omgooooooodness. then we went to the shop. it feels so weird being there. or at least weirder than usual. theres all this tension. -_____- why cant they all just get along? anyways it was pretty boring there. internet was soo laggy so me and mindy took webcam pictures. embarrassing. LOL. then got some frosen yogurt later. fuuun. what a boring day D:

I know that after tonight, you dont have to look up at the stars

i dont know why. but ive been really tired this week. thank goodness this week has gone by really fast cause tomorrows friday :] cant wait. well, i can wait for that ortho appointment :P for some reason, everything seems to be flying by (except for my classes) and now im freaking out about my... FUTURE *dun dun DUN!* the year is almost over. we still have like a month and half left to be sophomores. as bad as this sounds. im going to continue to put this off for a bit. just lock it in a box and put it in the back of my closet. right behind all those boxes of stuff xD

pe was extremely long, and i was tired. then spanish was long. speaking of long. omgoodnesss long -_- that smarty. he shouldnt have been messing around with his blackberry in the first place! but mirsch is still -_- and yeaaa at lunch me jessica and kathy made kevinluu a poster for his last game of the season. so last minute xD but it looked good. and i tried to tape it to the fence but the wind blew it and hella made it whack me -___- that was embarrassing LOL and now we have to make one for the jv boys xD but theres so many >.< what do we do now?! D: the game was baaaaad. i think kevin was losing /)_(\ richard is the weak link!!! why couldnt he have a better partner D: but i still dont know how he did cause kathy doesnt know how to keep score -_- neither does the stats girl O_o i could be a better stats girl. pshh. i really hate no knowing the score. how do you just watch?? it was bugging me the whole time. rawr. and the sun was in my eyes =/ it hurted. and kathy wouldnt be my shade. the meanie NO FOOD FOR HER! :P HA! plus im too lazy to make it anyway. ahh idk why but im soo tired >.< these eight hours of sleep arent doing much for me. i guess im used to having not enough sleep and now im getting too much? and its making me tired? weird... so sleepy. buti have stuff to do. like study and study some more. and draw charmander... xD its gonna be my epic PHAIL /)_(\ and omg i still havent asked... >.< just waiting for the right moment. yuuup.

Its you. Its you. You make me sing.

omgoodness i went to sleep sooo early last night xD like 11. that means EIGHT HOURS of sleep ;D but then when my first alarm went off... i got up, turned it off and went back to sleep... then my second alarm went off. it was the radio so like kiis fm was on for like 15 minutes. and i woke up then went back to sleep. then mindy's alarm went off and both of us woke up but neither of us actually got out of bed /)_< then my dad woke us up at 730 -_____- so we were rushing and i barely got to school on time. i finally realize why mindy lags so much. school doenst start till like 830 for her so she can afford to lag -____- no wonder. wait till she gets to LQ that little punk. imma make her RUN.

so anyways. math was interesting. jeff sure loves scolding me in vietnamese LOL like hes my father or something. i changed seats to "work on math cst review" with a partner. me and jeff were really behind xD john was at like 50? and me and jeff were still at 20something :P i wonder why we're doing so bad in that class.... and then mr. t's class came and kathyn sat with us. and we played some game with the class. and me and jeff teamed up to give each other participation points. that was nice haha. i like that seat! i cant believe she makes me sit all the way on the other side with the freshmen D: and that one freshman wont switch with me >:O before that though, maria and jeff drew a freeman earring on duys LEFT ear xD freeman was purple but duys ear was RED LOLOL and later i double dog dared maria to rest her head, and duy's reaction was PRICELESS xD he did that doubletake thing and slowly moved away xD and then lunchtime... maria TRIPLE DOG DARED jeff to do it. but i didnt get to see cause i was getting lunch D: AND apparently im porking. its not beefing anymore. ive taken it to the next level? pshhhh. just for that i should call her right now cause shes probably napping... mwahhaha :P justkeeding.

i missed 6-7 questions on the bio review. technically it was 6 cause i accidently bubbled in the wrong answer. im sooo serious i knew the answer! light dependent- NOT atp driven pshh. if it was a real test, i would have doublechecked and caught that :P yeaaa. so i asked danny to watch the play with me on friday, and kathy is going to ask rancho ;D and we can get in for FREE cause we got the connections ;D hehee. charlie's aunt? hmm should be interesting... but i might have to leave early. like before 430 for my ortho appointment -_- and then i guess ill walk to scotts house so he can take me there. i hope its not that long >.< i dont exactly want to leave before it ends. i hate not knowing the ending but oh well. and then kathy will be all alone with rancho... O.O and mindy? shell be... there. that reminds me. i have to ask her a question.

p.s. im currently obsessed with EVERYTHING (by michael buble) :] and another thing? the table. i could see it happening.

So i wrote you a song.

rawr. maria still wont tell me why she threw that empty juicy carton at me :'[ MEANMEANMEAN! anyway, badminton for 2hours was ok. an extra hour of fuuuuun. as if i really care -_- and then spanish was looong. and me and andrewvu and long were playing sticks. andrew is really good o.o its like weird that hes so pro at it O___o all the strategies and stuff. i suck LOL and then later we were listening to my ipod and longs blackberry and they were singing.... fun haha. then cst was whatever. but theres "tbsk" written on the back of jennifer's seat which means a gangbanger sits in my seat o.o and then afterschool i went to watch the game... sorta. the starters didnt play. that was no fun D: i am sooo there for league finals to support them jv boys. :] and before we went home jeffrey was modeling xD hes got that model pout going on LOL that cutie haha.

Touch my hand.

sooo. i caught up on all my math hw ;D so proud of myself :'] now no math hw for another 2 weeks? niiiiice. then i took a nap. i was sooo weird, cause i had all this pressure on my eyes... like it hurt D: i musta been reaaaaaaally tired. anyway... got the computer fixed. :D its soo annoying though cause scott updated it like crazy. and the tabs are all weird and im not used to any of it D: and the mouse is soooo sensitive. it keeps clicking other things when im not even touching it so im like typing and then it clicks to somewhere else D: but im sooo glad we have the computer back. i was about to die D: and poor kluu. he keeps calling me to tell me to work on the spanish project but everytime he calls, either mindy is using the laptop or its all out of whack so it goes from nagging me to do the project to talking about random stuff. such a drama queen, that one. and i suppose i should do some research now... but im too lazy. its late. i should go to sleep. english cst tomorrow. yippeeee. *yawn*

You know i'll walk them miles.

sooo. just got back from dennys. xD i eat like a monster. and its pretty embarrassing lol. my dad said something about it. then my mom. then my dad again xD oh wells. food is good ok? and anyways. today was ok. i got a new seat in history today. front seat. right next to crosby -___- i forgot we were picking seats today D: so i walked jeffy to class with maria and we lagged :P and now that im sitting there i feel the need to talk to her or something O_o but im not going to. pshh. the rest of the day was whatever. except for lunch. haha. we played the watermelon game. soo fun. but i was like one of the first to lose /)_(\ PHAIL. but fun haha. so tomorrow is dannys bday. he doesnt seem too happy about it =/ i wonder why. i had that plan of doing that one thing that me and jessica discussed. with those 16 things that you put on that one thing... but rawr. maybe i wont do it anymore >.<

And it feels like its the first time that anyones ever brought the sun without the rain.

woke up at 745ish. at 8 doreena came barging into our apartment... APPARENTLY SOMEONE FORGOT TO LOCK THE DOOR LAST NIGHT /)_< we coulda got robbed or something. tsk tsk. we got my hair done while talking about korean dramas xD fuuuun. then scott picked me up and took me to his house. friggin mart and phillip took longer to get ready than me and my aunt. what a bunch of girls. so we got to church pretty late. =/ oh wells. mass wasnt that bad. i expected it to be longer. i didnt even realize it but i fot confirmed before everyone at the table xD suckaaas. just keeding :P but what really made my day was when i was walking out and i saw danny xD big surprise. he even dressed up for me xD all my cousins have been asking me if he was going to come and i said no because i really didnt think hed want to go to church. hes buddhist, he thinks? xD i didnt even know he knew what time it started o.o but im glad i was wrong xD after the mass, i ran around a lot to take pictures, and hide from my family. shame shame, i know. and my dad kept looking at me. like suspiciously >.< i got really worried. i was freaking out cause i thought he saw me with danny. then i forgot about it and ate pho at phillips house, watched them play streetfighter, and fell asleep listening to my ipod. then went home to change and went to the restaurant. after we ate... me, viv, kathy, and mindy went to the mall. got some new clothes. theyre pretty xD lol then the mall closed and we had to run all the way around the mall to get back to the restaurant cause all the doors were locked D: it was scary cause it was nighttime and yeaa four young girls walking aloneish... that has danger written all over it. but we made it safely, and back at the restaurant, my dad was like staring at me. i got so scared. but i blew it off and went up to him like normal and stuff. he kinda ignored me :'[ i got kinda sad >.< and it made me worry some more. rawr. but when we got home and everyone was like all ready for bed, and i was watching snl, he came out and pulled the chair out and told me to sit down. i was like !@#%# here it comes >.< and then he told me to give him a massage. LOL. phewwwww. i think hes stressed, probably worrying about he should be at work, and how im confirmed, one more daughter to go. next thing he knows, ill be graduating >.< its all very scary when i think about it too. and it makes me sad. i think im ok for now. but my mom was like ehh when she found out i got flowers from kevinwiththeeye and that i didnt introduce him to my dad -__- she was like dont be all sneaky. you can have friends. just not _____. technically she didnt even say it. so im ok right? >.< whatevers.

so today is our one month<3 ^___^ whats embarrassing is that i really wanted to shout it out to the world. yea i had that kind of feeling all day xD but no one really cared LOL so yea. anyways, im hella tired. dreaming time. night world.

I gotta find you.

another day. pe was like whatever. i just didnt feel like playing if that wasnt obvious. we lost a lot. my bad. and jessica smashed a bird at the back of my head. owwiee. she did it on purpose >:O concussion... o.o justkeeding. and then later kluu was all blaming me for getting him sick D: i did not. if anything HE got ME sick rawr. what a coldcold day. me and jessica had to tutor. funnn. well kinda i guess. i just didnt want to be there. but it was ok. mr moore sent me on a battery rampage to fix the broken clock in the 300 lab. xD wandered around the halls looking for a custodian so i could ask for a battery LOL i feel like i was sent on a silly errand just so id leave the room or something :P but it took a while to find a custodian and i went to the custodial office or something? idk lol and the guy was looking for a battery for me and then he was like uhhh ill just bring it later. i was like okie pokies :] next thing i knew the clock was working :O and i didnt even get the battery yet... weird.. talked to mrtran aka scary bald guy about our classes. i guess im sticking with my classes >.< and the whole time jessica was trying to make me listen to this song but i wouldnt. i guess im just out of it. usually id be all over that. and kathy was like no itll make her sad! and yea so now im listening to it. -___-" its pretty... and sad =/ bummer. so weird. this morning i was scared. then bummed. then i accepted it. then i was hella surprised! sooooo caught off guard. i didnt know what to do. so i started freaking out. -__-" bad idea huh? stupid palmrose is in the box and i look at it and im like UGHH. im sooo obvlivious /)_< but i dont care. not like it makes a difference. ill just give it to mindy. so i was talking to jessica and i kinda got the courage to face him. but then something just shot me down. bummer.

Don't forget.

rawr. i dont like how this is right now. why is everyone so blahh? its like theres this bug going around making everyone all sad =/ seriously. EVERYONE. its not just me. i KNEW this week was going to be bad >.< must have been in denial yesterday. so ive been talking to elfy a lot lately. weird. i feel like ive known him for a while. i can openly talk to him about stuff and i think its cool that he can talk to me too. him and his noona problems and me and my idk... stupidity? we're all in the same boat... that is sooo sad :P you know what? going to the beach sounds nice. maybe ill get wise one to take me one day. in the morning. ill bet he'll love to swim when no ones there. but idk maybe the waves will be too calm for him? not enough of a challenge? :P whatevers. im suppose to do history right now. i already gave up on chem *sigh* im gonna do my best to fix this. i keep remembering how happy i was near the end of last week. i think id do anything to just replay it again. no matter how ridiculous mindy gets with her demands. and thats saying something cause theyre pretty ridiculous already -__-" but no one knows but me and her cause its hella embarrassing on my part -__-" this is my pride im talking about! >:O anyways im getting tired. hopefully i dont do anything stupid and tomorrows a better day. *fingers crossed* i have no idea what came over me today or last night >.< im just sick of beef right now. which reminds me, its funny how many ppl aimed me up asking me why beef wasnt good for them xD oh and im sick rawr. how? i thought it was allergies. =/ i was wrong. cause i was sneezing way too much and i was getting chills but i thought that was cause my apartment was cold which it is, and now my throat hurts. boohoo. right before comfirmation too D:

Lolli lolli lollipop oh youre my lollipop.

i think mindys napping so ill sneak on for a a bit xD today was kinda ehh. but whatevers. went straight home today so i had to miss the tennis game. i couldnt go support my boys :'[ sorrysorry. *fingers crossed* i hope jeffy and david, and ken and vinh SWEEP ;D dammit i just realized today's game was against BOLSA TT________TT we've been waiting for this. i dont pay attention well... even mindy knew?! wtf. i fail TT____TT i wouldnt have been able to handle it anyways. my allergies are all out of whack >.< it suckssss. stupid springtime RAWR. and heart "disease" is bugging me again. -____-" been hurting and all since this weekend. tears. what if i DIE?! justkeeding. overreacting. lol i blame it on my out of whack flow.

p.s. im usually a vegetarian but i guess im beefing.

Say it again for me.

last night i went to bed all bummed. i was like darn it! its gonna be a bad week i can feel it >.< but i woke up this morning and was like its a new day. :] so i got to see everyone and that was good. i missed everyone<3 and jeff was all i missed you too and i was like but you missed me the most and he was like yeaa. and then maria got jealous. LOL and he was like gosh kelly stop taking all the miss xD hes such a CUTIEEEE! xD so today was a pretty chill day i think. except my flow was all messed up and it was bugging me. only maria and jeff know what that means (i think) xD poor jeff LOLOLOL then afterschool, i gave danny his surprise but apparently it wasnt good enough so ill surprise him again tomorrow... maybe :P and doreena took me and mindy to buy the potluck food. got some pastries... not bad haha and then stopped by for frozen yogurt. we talked about stuff like how she finally got to see danny. now shes gonna interrogate mart LOL. good luck with that :P and then i found out my grandma came home from the hospital ^_____^ my mom was overreacting about the alzheimer i think. hopefully >.< but shes back. so thats good. so me maria and jessica had an intense conversation about serious stuff and stuff like universal cuteness. LOL that was fun xD then i got my dress approved. PHEW. no more worries ;D but amelia might still yell at me o.o fudgers ill get maria and jessica to back me up xD ill just hide behind them while she yells... >.< but its all good in the neighborhood ;D

...

woke up. went to church. then barbecue with the family. fuuun. haha ate a lot... like a MONSTER :P then helped phillip with his physics project. shame shame. make a bridge in one day? really? he had one week. smart one. -_____-" still havent visited my grandma =/ everyones taking turns to watch her at the hospital. i think its arousing drama within the family? rawr. just when everyone is suppose to get together for mine and mart's confirmation *sighsighsigh*

Its ok.

so grandma had a minor stroke... =/ we were planning to visit her but my parents were late for work and they left us behind and went to visit her alone. i got up early and everything. me and mindy were ready. its not our fault we didnt get to go. its not like we dont care. its hard for me to realize how weak she is now and that shes not always going to be here and that we take her for granted too much. shes taken care of all of us ever since we were little. you think i dont care? thats not fair.

Its just emotions taking me over.

i just dont get it. first im being ignored and then that ends for a short time. and now its happening again?

junior. im just a little disapointed =/ please dont make these mistakes >.< ahh he just needs think about it. despite his past- his present and future are what matter. please dont let him mess this up. theres restraint and willpower. hes strong. i know it.

I'd be lying if i told you losing you was something i could handle.

"when you assume you make and ASS out of U and ME" well guess what? hee. honk. i think... ive been selfish >.< i suppose i did blow things out of proportion. but thats just how it is for me. i have to be pessimistic. optimism is soo overrated. who wants to get their hopes up just to get it shot down? aim low and avoid disappointment right? but for some reason it hasnt been working too well. so what is that suppose to mean?

Its like chasing the very last train.

so last night i was on the phone a lot... hope my parents dont look on the phone bill xD first i talked to maria. haha her dorkiness DOES make me feel better. all the time. LOVE her. talked about random stuff like how me and my cousins turned on spiderman3, muted it, and put on the captions so we could dub our voices into it xD FUUUN. but hella embarrassing if it wasnt just me and my cousins LOL and then yea talked about stuff. i know its just high school. but it just tears me up. sigh. then i went to eat ice cream. i got fudge brownie ice cream. and when i was struggling to open i realized it said FROZEN YOGURT all around the top and was like OH MY SNAPS. i got so excited. then i popped that sucker open. BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF MY LIFE. it was chocolate ice cream with brownie bits :'[ turns out it tasted NOTHING like frozen yogurt AND i LOATHE chocolate ice cream... nasty >.< tsk. the lies. then andrew called and i ditched the ice cream cause it was nasty anyway. we talked for a while about stuff *cough* LANVI *cough* yea THAT was fun. i have blackmail now LOL. i got you buddy... got you wrapped around my little finger >:] haha just keeding. unless you know you do something to make me feel a little devious? :P then i got kinda tired so i hung up on him. then i remembered i promised to call kathydao back. so i called her and she played a song for me. it was pretty ^_______^ then we woke ken up so we could 3way haha. he was sleeping and the whole time he was just like can i go back to sleep now? why did you call me?! and WHY DID I CALL YOU BACK?! xD its cause he loves us ;D then i ditched them at like 1:30? cause i was super tired haha AND my mom was awake... o.o i kept thinking i heard her open the door or something. SCARY~~
so i slept on it. i dont know how i did. but i did. i woke up this morning and realized that im following in communism's footsteps. all the signs are showing, and im just confused now. i dont know what to do. this is something i dont wnat to happen. i dont want to follow that path. but it looks like thats where its heading. sure theyre different. but why does it look like this has happened before? im not saying i feel any different about him. hes still on my mind 24/7. hes the first thing that comes to mind when i wake up and the sun is shining through my windows and hes the last thing i think of before i drift off into dreamland. but it all feels sooo unrequited right now and... it just hurts.

You can't play on broken strings.

i watched stardust. cute. it made me cry. not because it was cute. but because he was sooo sure of his feelings for her that it made me go awww ^.^ then the movie ended, and it said: and they lived happily ever after. i smiled. and went aww again. then i realized, its just a fairytale. none of it is real. in real life, no one is ever sure of what they want. people are sooo indecisive. easily swayed. easily confused. happy with what they have one moment, and the next moment? unsatisfied. its just not enough for me to be wanted whenever its convenient. im not a toy. i cant be replaced if i happen to break.

Tell me what they know about my love.

badabahbahbahhhh. so my plans are ruined. =/ i was suppose to go to the beach with wise one today but my mom was being all anal. shes like no hes probably gonna take his friends too. and im like uhh no mom. its a family thing. just us cousins<3. cause thats how it always is. but she wouldnt listen. whatever. i was too tired to argue anyway. she doesnt get our bond LOL. dude i love my couins<3 theyre alwaysalwaysalways there for me. and like we always have the best times. and its like we all belong in different groups at school but at home, with the family, we're just family. and i know that as much as we mess around, theyll always be there for me. :'] fudgers. im all emotional haha good thing no one us up right now. but omgoodness theres this car outside and its soo annoying. its been beeping every like 2 minutes -.- RAWR i just want to throw something at it ^.^ lovely. i like kathy's myspace song. teehee.
so last night i was oober bored. my mom made me get off the computer. rawr. i have a curfew for aim?! mother effer. 9 o'clock. miss me my loves :'[ so i went to bed and called a whole mess of people xD but the only person who picked up was andrew :'[ and someone *coughcough* has to tell me EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING cause a promise is a promise LOL i made andrew promise to tell me about everything if i guessed her name. suckahhh. i didnt cheat. i'm just psychic. i only knew her name cause he was thinking about her too much that her essence and her name just came to me. LOL right right. ;D his reaction to when i said her name was priceless LOL wish i coulda seen it. then i got bored cause he was being ridiculously stubborn and wouldnt keep his promise. rawr. so i hung up on him and got something to eat haha.
*sigh* i just remembered kevin is in new mexico talking to the dean :'[ hes going to college soon omgoodness. this makes me sooo sad. fudgers. only 2 1/4 years of high school left >.< and all those dorky seniors and juniors are gonna leave soon =/ gah that makes me sad. its ok. we'll just make the best of the little time we have left and just make it last :]
:O i was suppose to go to church at 8. why do my parents keep doing this? -_-" its really annoying. i wish i could drive. i should sign up for drivers ed classes. LOL imagine me... driving xD i probably cant even reach the peddles :P *swings feet back and forth* omgoodness so Friday night my mom kept coming out and was like go to sleep. and then she came out and looked at me seriously and was like kelly im serious. you have 3 more years. i was like O.O uh oh. what is she gonna lecture me about now? and then she continues... you need to drink milk. how else are you going to grow? you only have so many years left until you stop growing... LOL my face went from o.o to xD no duh. i knew that. its not like i can really help it. who says milk makes you grow anyway D: statistics? pshh whateverrrr. ive BEEN drinking milk since i realized i wasnt growing. it doesnt help =/ this is the longest most boring blog ever....
plans for today?
-go to church
-talk to that indian guy about my computer problems xD
-download antivirus
-update my ipod ^.^
-watch australia
-keep kevin "w/ the eye" company during his stay in new mexico
-not do hw :P
-and do something spontaneous? LOL great. its not spontaneous anymore now that ive planned to do it xD oh wells. we shall see. we shall see

i have a secret: im a little bit of a jealous person. just a little. /)_(\

Do you ever dream of candy coated raindrops?

break. 9 days. finally. so omgoodness i had the biggest scare today o.o i was with danny and kathy called to tell me mindy was on the phone with my dad. he told her he was at school and he asked where i was. and mindy told him i was in romanos. i was like wtf? hes checking up on me?! *hurt* i cant be trusted? D: ok i know that. i lie to my parents way too much >.< i know its bad. =/ most of the time its for their own good. there are some things they don need to know. like how i get a ride home. yea that worries them -_- they just worry way too much and they dont need the extra stress. but i guess i dont help. rawr. im a bad daughter >.< so i ran as fast as my little legs would go xD but im pretty slow. omgoodness i made a sharp turn an almost fell. LOLOL good thing no one was there to seee xD but wheni got to romano's it was locked iwas like @#!% and then i went to the senior parking lot. and i found mindy and kathy. i was like please let this be a late april fools joke >.< mindy seemed pissed xD lol okokok i promise ill stop. I GUESS she does enough for me. she a real bword about it though. and its not like she does A LOT. she only puts up with my friends and danny but hello????? she loves my friends :P uhhh idk about danny LOL but yea. so turns out it was a false alarm. my parents werent checking up on me. my mom was sick D: and my dad drove her home from work and thought hed pick us up on the way. PHEWWWWWW. i wonder if they passed by the front office though. because. uh oh. >.< omgoodness i hate the mystery. fudgers. i dont think they saw anything? so scary >.< idk ughh. and i totally ditched danny. :O shame on me =/ but my LIFE was on the line. and this is not me being a drama queen either. omgoodness. ive been called a drama queen a lot this week :O i guess that means im a drama queen -__-" oh and apparently im crazy too :P rawr. so kathy. goodness that little cougar LMAO im glad shes happy. like genuinely happy too. it made me wanna cry xD ive never been so happy that i cried. but i came kinda close today. shes been through so much bs from that dumbass. she deserves better. im glad shes finally letting go because he doesnt deserve her time. ok so i took a nap from like 6-10 but im still sleepy duh. i need to catch up on sleep. gonna go dream. night world.