If he knew how bad.

i want it to be worth it. but it almost seems like theres no use. like one of us doesnt care anymore. last night, i was too tired to let anything bother me. then i started thinking and i couldnt sleep anymore. so i stayed up all night and thought about it some more. i realized that it bothered me a lot. but the whole world was sleeping. so i kept it to myself... who was i going to talk to? it was 4 in the morning. emotions bottled up inside turns into a bad thing. im not gonna explode. some of it may slip through the cracks and leak out a little, but it wont explode. i would never explode. the sharp bits of glass might cut the people i really care about. but id never let that happen. so i bottled it back up and tried again. i wanted to talk. but he basically turned his back on me and couldnt/wouldnt look me in the eyes. so i stopped trying, and maybe i started to cry a little but thats ok. no one saw. i didnt ask him to be there. i suggested he leave cause i knew he didnt want to be there. i dont need his pity. its the last thing i need. wouldnt it have been easier to just watch him walk away? i had to sit there for the longest 10 minutes or so of my life, in silence, just wishing that i could understand and that we could fix everything. maybe i should just stop.

________________________

"If he knew how bad
I wanna make this work,
How my heart belongs to him,
He wouldn't be able to walk away.

If he knew how bad
I gotta have him close,
If I ever let him go,
I wouldn't make it a single day.

He would never have to ask again,
If he knew how bad."